Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Betty Hollywood Says...

friday, I had a ghetto l.a. bday party on the patio of el cid. ended up getting rained out. and rain, in l.a. ?? oy. everyone took off before the midnite hour. we ended up at justin's recording studio, chillin, drinking and watching the rain. sunni and I got home around 3am and slept until 1pm the next day. we got up on saturday and headed to an l.a. galaxy game where we were invited by shoe designer faryl robin. we got to see very cute fall shoes and drink margaritas in the event suite box with a bundle of beckham sightings. sunday, I headed to fashion week for my front row seat at the sue wong show. it was to bed early for my monday morning call with my "how do I look?" shoot. whew. what a weekend!

Lisa Says...

Call me a lame-o, I don't care, but I went apple pickin'. And pumpkin pickin'. And I went to pacem interris, the sculpture garden I used to go to in high school when I used to skip school.I highly recommend these 2 farms, only an hour and a half outside of the city:
Pochuck Valley Farms (for the best apple picking) Pennings Farm Market (for the best pumpkins.)
These are in Vernon, NJ and Warwick NY. About 20 minutes from each other. Both of these have nice little stores where you can buy hot mulled cider and donuts and all sorts of pies and yummies. Plus, the foliage up there is great. I grew up in this area, and while I'm glad I don't live there because it would make commuting hell, its nice to go back.There's an awesome walk along the appalachian trail only a couple miles from pochuck farms. The first mile of it is just a simple boardwalk through the corn fields, then you walk through a field full of angry cows (I can send you a youtube link for proof.) If you're driving, a 5 minute drive from pennings is pacem in terris, as I mentioned above- it's a nice little place. Bonus points, if you hang around warwick long enough, across the street from pennings farm is the warwick drive in.
PS- If you bring your young child to pennings, which has some animals, and don't watch your young child while he is kicking the goat in the face, I will yell at your young child. And I love kids, But I also love goats. Luckily, if you're a parent of a young child who kicks goats in the faces, I probably won't be there to yell, since I did this all this weekend.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Charlie Says...

here's my weekend. i don't think my words speak the amount of frustration that consumed me. Alright so this past weekend. Start off friday night at Nicole's place, had a few beers, a failed attempt at watching Intervention because it was not on, much to Nicole' s devastation, but fun none the less. I leave there with the intention of seeing one friend for one drink around the corner from my house. That one drink somehow turned into seven. So yeah, it made for an unpleasant morning of travel on saturday. I wake up still drunk, great, mom is proud, go outside to wait for the car that is to pick me up then another guy i travel with and then onto jfk. So here's my thoughts on hired cars, if i get in one and you drive one, as a "professional" driver i expect you to know how to get places. So first the car is 15 minutes late, great start, i get in, and then they say "where to," oh great, is there not communication between the people who take the calls for cars and the people who drive them. someone called them and said hey go pick up this guy at this address then the other one at this one then go to jfk. Pen and Paper, memory, check it out. So i find the address we're going to, i tell this to the driver to only get a response of "where is that, do you know how to get there?" and i have no idea how to get there. So far we're twenty minutes into the trip and they were filled by being late to pick me up and not knowing where to go. Oh and i should mention all this hassle is to get me to Buffalo, fucking buffalo, just take a minute to absorb that, BUFFALO. After numerous wrong turns we find this guy's apartment and he gets in. Again with the remembering where we're going thing, he gets in and we get a "ok now where are we going?" Honestly. So anyways, we get to the airport, i feel like the inside of a mcdonald's toilet bowl, and just what i want to learn, my flight to BUFFALO is delayed. The delay sucked but whatever i fell asleep on the floor of the airport and felt better when waking two hours later thinking i missed the flight but only to find out it was still delayed for another hour. I get to Buffalo and we go straight to a bowling alley where we are gonna shoot a video of the comedian i work with bowling with some of the Buffalo Bills. Well only one Bill showed up, but he was a good sport and it was great. So that night we decide to go have some nice local buffalo flavor and go out to dinner. The hotel guy suggests we go to this place down the street that's like 3 floors and is a grill and a brewery. Ok great, how can you screw up grilling and beer. So this place we went to brewed all it's own beer, i've been to places like this before and was excited about it because at least there's good beer or something different. So we start trying the beers and before ask the waitress what she recommends and says everything is great blah blah blah. We try two different beers, and they were awful. Not like "oh this tastes just like cheap 2 dollar beer", no, this tasted, honest to god, like someone filled a glass up with water then tore open a packet, and on the packet it said "beer flavor." It was so so so so bad. And the food didn't help either, everything was awful. I felt bad for the 10 residents of Buffalo, because i thought they were getting duped into thinking what good beer was, and it was just awful. So whatever rest of the weekend unfolded, don't go to buffalo it's horrible. i don't know why it exists, i mean i know there's a history to it, but it's pointless. it's a dead city. So this happened today traveling back from Buffalo. So one of the guys i work with the one in the above story about the car, is kind of not so sharp, well he is smart, he went to Harvard, but when it comes to the outside world, there wasn't a book for him to study. I could go on about little things he does but lets share this one. We get off the plane today at jfk, it's early still, it was a 7am flight, we get off, he checked a bag, i did not, and i'm hungry, i say "hey i'm gonna grab something to eat you go get your bag and i'll meet you at baggage claim." sounds great- he agrees- he's on his way, i get my muffin. I head towards baggage claim, go down the stairs and baggage claim is completely empty, there are just two people there and they looked like they were picking up family. So i look around, i don't see this guy. go back up stairs see if i missed a turn, but i'm now outside the security area so this is pretty much the only place i can go. Go back down, look around some more, don't see him. I look over to one of two luggage carousels and there's one lone bag circling, and i recognize the bag, walk over to it, look at the tag, yup it's this guy's bag i'm with. So i call him, "Hey where are you?" "i'm waiting for my bag" "yeah no you're not i have it" so long story kinda short, somehow he gets lost decides to not follow the signs, ends up in a completely different terminal and goes to that baggage claim. Unbelievable. And all i wanted to do was get back home without any hassle and just be home and get in my own bed and rest. Oh well.

My Weekend

Friday night I ate dinner, took a nap, and then I went off to work. I am currently casting a tv show for the Lifetime Network (hee hee I love it!) involving matchmaking and we are hitting various locations looking for single men for this project. First thing of note: NO KIDDING HERE, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS BECAUSE IT IS VERY UNUSUAL: My two casting assistants, who I just met, who do not know each other, who were separately recommended to me by people at my office, are named Allison Hope and Alyson Faith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, how can I NOT do a good job here with Hope and Faith on my team. They are also both singers and are each highly entertaining. We are having zero trouble running up to guys and demanding, "Are you single?" In fact, we were in Sing Sing karaoke bar, and Allison Hope decided to sing "Hell is for Children," and she totally worked the room, walking up to everyone, making little jokes between verses, and then doing this remarkable thing: while on the mic for her song, a hot casting prospect walked in and she went up to him and asked him, amplified, "Are you single?"
A bit of a phenomenon occurred when she did that. I heard her say it, and then I observed a physically visible flinch in the room coming from all the women. It felt like a combination of, like, the women thinking how declasse it is to ask such a vulgar, forward thing, like where is this girl's GAME, to come right out with a desperate sounding question like that, and also like "Can you ask that?", like they all heard the holy grail question aloud and couldn't believe it could be asked, and were stunned and liberated to hear it actually happen, and involuntarily jumping at the notion that maybe they too could cut through all the time wasting and just sort the singles from the doubles! Incredible. It turns out that the guy was not interested in being on the show, mirroring what would probably happen if the ladies worked up the nerve now to just ask that question- the answer would always be no, or not interested. Sigh. Anyway, it was very uplifting to learn that just about everybody around you at any given time is VERY INTERESTING! Each guy we spoke with had traveled and lived lots of places, or was the fifth generation with the same name in a family line of farmers, or spoke 3 languages, or had a really cool job, or had just taken his first ride after a terrible motorcycle accident a year ago, or is a professional hula hooper. My advice to you all is to get talking to the people around you. TOTALLY flying in the face of what I previously believed, the surrounding folks stealing your barstool are actually pretty developed people. So we rounded up a bunch of excellent single male candidates, had a shot of whiskey and headed home.
Saturday night: I went out to dinner with my chums Meg and Lisa, at a hot new NYC resto called Spitzer's Corner, not to be confused with Schiller's, also a hot NYC resto but not new. The decor is really good, I think- it's all big wooden communal tables, large glass windows that tilt out into awnings, long horizontal lines, wood walls that looks like a scandinavian sauna... cozy but more industrial than quaint and you wish they put a boxy fireplace right near your table. But you don't need to worry about a fire because Spitzer's is the restaurant of hot. Every customer, hot, hot, hot. And the beer list is amazing!! Full, long, varied, flavors jumping out at you from the descriptions of the beers...mmmmm and you should go here for drinks even if you don't eat. There were people playing cards at the table, but this place is much more chic hotspot than Knights of Columbus Hall. The food was also great, we all liked our meals, and Meg's potato gratin was a standout even though it was merely a side. Before we got seated, we were waiting for Lisa to come in from Williamsburg, so we were looking around the place and our eyes spied outside the large windows a very exciting prospect! There was a temporary Steve Madden liquidation shop erected just across the street, inside which we could vividly see people going crazy throwing shoes around. Attracted like magnets, Meg and I left our name and sped across the street. NY ladies, this is the type of tip you wish you heard after it's too late so listen up: the shoes are $20 a pair, 2 for $30. This includes boots! WHAT! Yes it's true. Bring a friend if you have one, so if you both only find one pair you like, you can have one of you pay for both and get em for $15 each. The shoes were mostly summery but at these prices you must get them anyway and save them for next spring, or take them on your winter vacation. I got a pair of dark brown wooden platforms with a jade patent leather slingback, and also a pair of electric blue patent all purpose flats that are happily cutting into the back of my heels right now! Worth it!! The sale goes on til end of month I believe so roll on over there! Also, if you are a Sasquatch, they had more selection in the size 10 and 11 dept than anywhere else, so don't worry your big feet about it! After the spree and feed I went off to cast more single men. Another note for you ladies on the hunt out there: all the fellas in the karaoke bars I was looking in are not yet 30. Don't go in there for that reason if you are looking for men over 30. Just go in to SING!!! Always fun. People tear it up too, in the private rooms. I was looking thru the window of each one, hunting down a hottie I saw go downstairs that I thought would be good for the show, and I saw people leaping around on the couches, two girls holding wrists and spinning, lots of arms heads and hair flinging around...its all in the name of hipdom but at least people are abandoned of their normal too cool for schoolness you usually see. In fact they get so buckwild that there is a list on the wall of infractions that you can be heavily fined for! Smoking commands a $200 fine!!! Only you can prevent forest fires!! Where was I? Oh, right....caught up in the spirit of matchmaking, I had a male friend of mine come out to work puposely to meet one of my casting assistants, and they hit it off! No wonder I am kicking booty butt on this job, I am a natural born matchmaker!!
Sunday I slept real late after this bit of working at night. Cleaned up a bit, tried to give clothes to my roommate, she tried to buy some shirts for me, but neither end worked out. Then I went to Kuntry Karaoke at Rodeo Bar to cast some more. There are some good-ass country singers out there. My casting assistant Alyson Faith got up and sang, and the guy who runs the party came up to me afterward to tell me how good she was. I have provided a link to her website in the right hand column if you wanna see her deal. One bowl of texas chili with huge beef chunks went in the belly. Then I found this guy DJ, who turns out to be an opera singer! SCORE! (for the show I mean!) I asked him if he knew about Opera on Tap, and he said that he indeed performs there so I think I am gonna go on down and see him sing one Thursday for free in Freddy's BackRoom Bar- you are ALL invited!! I also met A. Faith's friend Stacy Styles- a prominent DJ whom I had heard of before but never seen. After parting ways with my team, I got into a cab and there were three DJ Stacy Styles stickers plastered on the cab wall. Unbelievable! I had just walked away from her!
Then I got home, fed my Donkey, looked at Dlisted.com, and hit the hizay. Cheers!

Vegan Crabcakes Do Too Exist!

A reader wrote in to inquire where Lisa Says et up her delicious vegan crabcakes in Maryland. He googled around and could not find them anywhere. Lisa Says was kind enough to supply him with the place to get them. Here it is:

One World Café

And, bien sur, a link has been provided for you in the right hand column to go and see what else is on their menu!

Nicole

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Lisa Says...

Last weekend I ate sweet market-fresh vegetables at “Vegetate” in D.C., along with some half-priced wines. Then the next day, I had vegan Maryland crabcakes in Baltimore. Its true; my life has been reduced to food and ferrets. And I’m ok with that, for now.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Juliana Says...

This weekend I trekked to San Francisco to visit my girls C & E out there. I stayed with E in her brand spanking new pad that she just bought… Yup, yet another new homeowner! Everyone around me seems to be at the age where they're ready (& able) to make commitments to pets, partners, kids, real estate or a combination therein… yet I can't seem to even decide on a plant! Anyway, I've been to SF a bunch of times already & have seen the sights, so now when I go it’s just to hang out with my girls who I only get to see for major holidays or weddings these days. I headed out from lovely JFK super-early Friday a.m. in order to get more QT with them. (BTW, have you guys noticed how generic JFK feels? It only took them 30+ years to semi-finish it and basically they’ve left it with this whole-generic-airplane-hangar-that-could-be-in-any-city-feel to it…I mean it seriously reminds me of the one in Bs. As! Jeez.)

Didn’t do much Friday besides hang out with my girls and catch up. However, the next day, after we woke up super-early (because I went to sleep like at 10PM night before!!), E & I went for a 3-mile walk around Merritt Lake which is this huge lake in the center of town. It’s lovely – I mean it literally sparkles! Be forewarned, however, like all bodies of water in highly-populated places, it’s filled with geese and their droppings. You had to skip about in the grass not to step in it! Anyway, after we got back and got ready, C met up with us and we headed out to San Fran via the BART (their subway, which compared to New York’s is a luxury) to check out the LOVE FEST.

Leave it to San Fran to have something called the LOVE FEST. Basically, it’s this crazy parade of DJs on floats that all end up in front of City Hall where everyone converges to party & dance... it was pretty wild. No joke, dirty old men were walking around butt-naked with cock-rings, stroking themselves... ugh. It was nasty. I still get ill just remembering... Otherwise, everyone was dressed up in outrageous outfits – some of them cute (guys dressed in bunny costumes with their naked butts showing – gives a new meaning to getting some tail), some not so cute (see dirty old men reference above) – doing a lot of drugs & drinking... in front of City Hall... with the cops looking on. Interestingly, house and trance music seem to still be really big there (there wasn’t anything else) so each DJ float had its own version of it. It was pretty cool to see actually, since everyone there just seems to let it all hang out –- although not always necessarily in a good way -- and not care. At least our freaks here are usually under the radar & semi-discreet. Did I mention that this was IN FRONT OF CITY HALL?? It was sponsored by Heineken & Red Bull so folks were drinking beer and cocktails (myself included), “smoking” up a storm (none for me) and just getting lit (maybe from some 2nd-hand contact high). Anyway, I’m bad at guess-timating numbers of people, but there had to be definitely several thousands – which, you could totally tell from the Porto-Potty usage (good god those things are nasty!)

After several hours of drinking, dancing and chatting with folks (we met up with a couple of the girls’ friends) we headed off to dinner at this cute place in the Mission and then headed home since some of us (not me) were not feeling well at all. Alas, it was another early night for moi, which actually was fine because no joke, all weekend I was nodding off by 10PM (jet lag SUCKS as you get older!) Sunday we just hung around lazily and then headed over to C’s lovely house overlooking the SF Bay (yup, yet another recent homeowner) where she made us one of her spectacular meals (the girl can COOK! I always tell her she should open her own place, but she says she doesn’t enjoy it… with talent like that, who would’ve thunk it??) And then it was back to SFO for an incredibly uncomfortable and seemingly interminable return red-eye flight back to good old NYC. My trips to San Fran are always short weekenders – but I always end up feeling like it’s more than enough time. I’m not that into SF (and granted I stayed in Oakland this time, but even when they used to live in San Fran proper I wasn’t impressed.) Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely city and the people are super-nice (which, honestly, is part of the problem for me – I find the friendliness freaky) but there's something just too chill and laid-back for me… I’m always happy to come home to NYC to its neurotic speed, constant background noise and true grime. I guess I am a NYer after all.

My Weekend

Friday was my typical night of Intervention, except that it was a repeat of the Laney episode which I had seen at least twice before. I could not watch Laney take pills in an attempted overdose and see how the EMTs were not allowed to help her if she was conscious and told them not to, which she was doing against her own best interest of survival. So I watched some Best Week Ever crap and waited for the next 'Vention, a classic with a screeching gambler whose parents had to sell their house to cover his debts, and an agoraphobe who could only leave her house to meet her shopping addiction, until her agoraphobia took over and she was forced to impulsively buy whatever came up on the Home Shopping Network.
Saturday I got up and out and off to the Oysterfest on Stone Street in lower Manhattan. Now pay close attention- the Oysterfest, attended for the second year in a row by me, is in my TOP TWO fun things to do in ALL OF NYC!!! (The other one is the parties at the Hotel QT, where they have a swimming pool in the lobby, along with a swim-up bar, group sauna and group steam room.) The Oysterfest has a respectable crowd with a smattering of the chic, the freak and the funk. There is live music, all kinds of beers (we drank nothing but Moretti all day), oysters ripped open right in front of ya, clams, oyster stew (the only drawback of the day, with its literally three little oyster chips in there), lobster bisque, crab cakes, bbq chicken sandwiches, mini po-boys, pulled pork sandwiches, and a great deal with a Moretti and a slice of pizza for $6- the pizza part of this deal costing $1!!! We got prime seats at a table the moment we arrived, just steps from the Moretti tent and 3 oyster stands, and never ever left them all day. There were even good bathroom facilites close by- a restaurant ten feet from our table had excellent clean & stocked toilettes all the day, for those of you who care about this sort of detail, and there are many of you, admit it. I ate probably thirty oysters amongst other delicacies from the above list. We made new friends, saw old ones, and stuffed our craws, while engulfed in perfect weather and a setting which mirrored Amsterdam, France, or a German beer fest. Exquisite!!
While wrapping up the night, some drunk dude with an oven stuffer roaster gut grabbed me and started telling me that I was super cute but that I was too short. "Too short. Too short!," he said to me. I said, "Well, you're too fat," and patted him on his belly. This caused no shortage of hilarity to Sarah's friend Jeff, a ball buster himself. He could not even believe I said it. Well, Jeff, I am not that short and I will NOT be called out for it!
Sunday I cleaned my desk area in my home office. I have been doing a lot of professional organizing work lately and it feels remiss to have just finished organizing and filing into binders a huge towering raft of papers for a client and then to see a mess on my own desk. So I TCB'ed that. It looks great and I freed up a lot of drawer space for my myriad projects. Feels great! Looks great! (In fact just before creating this entry, I overhauled my storage closet with my awesome roommate Sarah, a job done handily in just over an hour with the two of us soldiers on it.) After making my desk less pesky, more desky, I split for the gym to take a yoga class with some teacher I had never seen before. One of the poses she had us do indicated that we were to put the heel of our foot right in our perineum. I am not sure half of us knew what that was, but I sure did and opted out. Try sitting with all your weight on your own foot in your ass! After this fiasco, I put my feet nowhere near my ass and walked over to the South Street Seaport to meet Andy with the plan of going dancing and hammock swinging at the outdoor Green Fairy Garden on the grounds of Spiegelworld. When we walked up to the ticket booth I got flustered and could not remember the name of the event, so I mumbled "Whatever it is you've got going on tonight I want tickets for that," to which the boothmaster replied "You want to see Absinthe at 7:30?" Now many of you know that I have been trying for weeks to see this show Absinthe inside the actual Spiegeltent, and planned for it to be the crown jewel in my birthday celebration, but nobody could go, friends had to work, it is kind of expensive, etc. So like a birthday balloon, I let that one go. I believed that Friday night was the final performance anyway, so I did not expect to ever see this highly lauded show. I about fell over when the guy said the show was going on that very night! I explained to Andy what it was and he was down for it, until I told him the price. Then I convinced him to pay it, until we learned it would likely be standing room only. Then we found out that standing room was just over half the price of seats. We went back and forth like this thru all these phases of understanding about the show. Finally I said to Andy that I would be willing to endure all circumstances presented to us for the sake of seeing this show because every now and then in life you have to see a SPECTACLE, and this world-class acrobatic, burlesque, Berlin-esque, bawdy, hilarious musical cabaret was looking to be quite a spectacle indeed. Andy countered with the classic and well -serving "It is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done," and moments later we had SRO for the spectacle. And it was very much so!!! Nudity! Hot bodies! A charming and decadent host named Gazillionaire who habitually shoved his crotch into the audience members' faces, female and male. Rollerskating acts! A girl inside a HUGE BUBBLE! A William Tell trick! An androgynous singer who looked more like a man but sang like a castrato practically, and who also did a spot-on impression of Janis Joplin! A guy who transformed into a woman during his act and proceeded to mount a pogo stick tricked out to look like a motorcyle with a side mirror, in lucite stiletto heels, and bounce on it staccato fast with no hands because his hands were busy juggling machetes simultaneously, just a yard from the audiences faces! UNREAL!!! All of this, mind you, took place inside a beautiful "tent" made of teak and mirrors and stained glass, and was witnessed by one of the coolest, best-looking and well-dressed crowds I have seen in NYC, land of cool crowds. Andy and I had grins plastered on our faces the whole time, and cried out in delight and whooped with laughter too throughout the highly entertaining show. And as far as our brokebacks hurting from standing, trusty Andy taught me a pigeon-toed, bent-kneed Kung Fu stance that uses different muscles than the ones normally used for standing up in such a situation as this, and each time I appeared uncomfortable in the stance, he would lean over and whisper in my ear, "It's okay grasshopper. Go lower, sink into the Earth!" Very encouraging. After many rounds of applause, we left, Andy thanking me effusively for my always stocked cabinet of fun things to do, and me thanking him for his spontaneity and follow through. When we went outside the tent, we took a better look around than we had when we were rushing into the show. What a sight for brown eyes! (Sometimes I make up my own nonsense phrases) There was a view of all three bridges from Manhat to BK, and a large yellow half moon hanging in the sky underneath the bridges like a sloth. Then there was a red and blue striped big top with mini xmas ornament sized disco balls strung back and forth underneath the top of it, over our heads. There was even furniture inside to take a dance break on. The view to the other side of the tent was a big clipper ship looming over the dock. Quite an unusual juxtaposition. It was as if we had run away to join the circus and the ship was what had sailed us there.
The Melting Pot was having their 5th anniversary, and it appeared they had a loyal and regular following. I have been feeling a bit old lately after my latest birthday, and so I just kind of stood there and tapped my toe to the rhythm, left in the role of observer. But then when some great piece of house business kicked in, much to my surprise, I started throwing down and was stunned by my arsenal of moves, moves I didn't even know I had, or had forgotten about! I was young again! Dancing a fool! So I cut their rug, while gazing out at the gorgeous view of the bridges and the bad moon rising, and clapping my hands, stomping my feet and hootin and hollerin with the multiculti crowd. Again Andy and I were beaming. Things looked good, things sounded good, our bouncy bodies felt good...and then the MC introduced a pair of brother DJs, stepping up to the one and twos, who were at most 15 years old, probably 14 and 15. That window into my youth that opened when the great song came on slammed shut. Old again! So we took a load off on one of the daybeds and drank seltzers (see? OLD!) , and finally decided to get out of there. Damn that was a satisfying scenario. Places and things like this are the reason why I never think the other American cities I visit are as fun. I don't care what you say, Chicago does not have shenanigans like this!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Andy Says...

Friday night I stayed home and watched HBO's Rome, far and away the best TV EVAH. My cousin downloaded the entire series, but episode 12 is corrupt. Now I have to netflix it. I had a date on Saturday for brunch with an Israeli girl. I went to her nabe (Williamsburg) and ate at a rooftop spot the name of which escapes me. Then I painted the hallway of my new apartment which I love. On Saturday night I studied bong science with my amigo Rusty, and watched a documentary about Jimi Hendrix. The remarkable thing about this movie-watching was that it was via netflix's new streaming video system. He has a laptop with a video out and connected it to his big-ass flatscreen TV. The resolution and quality were most impressive. DVD via mail is a dying delivery system. You've been warned.Sunday I futzed about the house until evening, when the amazing Nicole dragged me out to see Absinthe at Spiegelworld. You missed it, suckas. It rocked my world and now I want to see all burlesque shows in NYC. Afterward we danced to house music at Melting Pot. Good DJs on Pier 17, an amazing spot. Sadly Spiegelworld is closing down as summer's gone. Melting Pot is worth a return visit if they move to a new location.

Finally!

Someone gets it!! Someone realizes that you don't have to have a fully glamorous weekend to post on this blog! I really just want to know whatever it is that you did- even if that entails cutting your toenails, watching paint dry, and alphabetizing your spice rack. Noone understands! They are all ashamed to send me something unless it is fabulous. FEH I SAY! Do like Jon did and just report what you did!
BTW, this is rather insulting towards me as I suggest that texting with me all night long is not the most special, VIP, glam thing one could do with their free time.

Nicole

Jon Friedman Says...

I texted with Nicole all night long.

Love Shack!

Gentle Readers, the place Amber-Lea (which appropriately means golden meadow) was staying this past weekend is called Lazy Meadow. I recommend it highly and in fact recommended it to Amber-Lea. The place is a funky, 50s/60s/70s themed motel with turquoise or pink kitchens in some rooms, and now has themed Airstream trailers too, that is owned by Kate Pierson from the B-52's. The decor was provided by the set designers for the Love Shack video. Half the reason I want to own a B&B in my later years (did you know that about me?) stems from this place. It's so fabulous! The fruit and vegetable market A-L mentions is right across the road, and further down the road is the World's Largest Kaleidoscope- not to be missed! This motel hits the mark on so many levels-charm, kitsch, peacefulness, simplicity, odd amenities, nearby attractions...I can't praise it highly enough! A link has been provided to the right for your viewing pleasure. If you decide to go, let me know- I will come too!

Nicole

Amber-Lea Says...

The end of the week came on a Thursday this time. I was handed the keys to a PT Cruiser - butter yellow - but it had a CD player, and that and four wheels was all I really needed to take me far away from the city that never sleeps.

A shiny, shiny Airstream trailer set on the bank of a large creek welcomed me with a giant Tiki head on the door, letting me know that things were a little different around those parts. The next four days were an in-between time with no clear boundaries. I sat on a rock in the middle of a stream, listening to the burble. I was ignored totally by bats, deer, rabbits, hawks, and an osprey. I drank tea by the side of the creek and a bottle of Jack Daniels by the fire(s) that took 45 minutes to ignite (the wood was damp from the sporadic rain). I listened to the fruit and vegetable man say something to me about the Mets while I smelled tomatoes and squeezed the zucchini bread. I admired the audacious mustache of Tedd, the caretaker. I did nothing that I would qualify as "work" (unless you count tindering and tending the fire, which, since it was fun, I don't consider work).

Most importantly, I learned that I would not grow bored by myself in the woods.
On Sunday evening, I suffered a fair amount of anxiety-inducing re-entry shock in the East Village and so I drank more Jack Daniels and went to Williamsburg to see the Twilight Sad.

MAZEL!!!

CONGRATULATIONS to L.A. Confidential on the recent nuptials!!
I cannot think of a better place to spend my honeymoon than at a Justin Timberlake concert!
Did you guys consummate during "My Love?"

Nicole

L.A. Confidential Says...

Well...first I went to Canada and got married. Yay married. Then I flew to LA and did a lot of nothing but hanging out with the dogs. Then I called in sick to work and went to the JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE concert, second row. Now, let me point out that the tickets I purchased were second row as well. Second row from the back. However, I married a bit of a ticket snob so those seats just weren't going to work out. Anyway- Justin. He is a sexy beast. Then back to Seattle...Now off to LA again. Kisses.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Charlie Says...

So this weekend I was off to Philadelphia again, but this time it was for work. Nothing crazy happened. We get there and start shooting, things are going smoothly so that's good. Things went way better than the weekend before in Cincinnati. So first thing. We get to the hotel and check in. Really busy hotel, lots going on. So I go up to my room with the dreadlocked camera man, sweet, and open the door and it's a tiny room with one bed. AWESOME. So we go back downstairs and complain and they say sorry place is booked. So then we called the travel person from ESPN and they talked to the hotel and in like a minute we had a new room. Assholes. So that's resolved. Next we go out that night to shoot. I stay behind at first to finish some things up and have some dinner. Then the PA comes to pick me up to take me to the shoot. This guy is one of the most awkward people I have ever met. I have no idea what's going on with his hair, it looks like a wig and all dead, really really weird. So he picks me up, it's only me and him in the car, great conversation, not really. I feel like he is one of those people that say really dumb stuff and not know why they even say it or they're sheltered or something, it's so weird. Like I expect him to say, "Did you know the ocean is blue because my mom loves the ocean and the color blue." It's really weird and makes me really uncomfortable. Oh and he can never wear enough sun block. Dude puts on sun block at like 2am, every damn time I turn around I feel like he's putting on sun-block. Next complaint. So I have to share a room with this dreadlock guy. It's not that bad but it's the first time i've shared a room since freshman year college, and we all know how that turned out. So this guy is nice, kind of annoying, i hate his voice and his hair. He stays up way too late too. Not that I'm a total nerd old man but this schedule for work we have is crazy and sleep is appreciated but he stays up who knows how long with the tv on and clickin on the computer keys- so damn annoying. Oh and he also likes to crank the air conditioning so it's like 20 degrees in our room, not bad for sleeping but when i wake up and start to work in the room i need to wear gloves. Oh oh oh, so this one i really hate. So he uses the bathroom, number 2 style, and then when he's done he shuts the door behind him. Now this sounds like a courteous thing to do, it's a hotel room, sure I'm gonna keep the stink in the bathroom. Oh no my friend. Because when it's time for me to go into the bathroom, the smell has been contained and it's an agonizing experience now to use the bathroom. I'd rather go through the two minutes of gross smell in the bathroom leaking into the room than my whole bathroom experience with me holding my breath. Well those are my complaints. I wish i had better things to tell of the weekend. Although it being my second time in Philadelphia i did enjoy it more. I'd live there if someone offered me a good job or their hand in marriage. So who knows what will happen. Well until next week my anonymous internet friends, and next week is new orleans so i hope something mildly interesting happens there.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

High Maintenance

Caitlin has lost perspective, I see. She believes that seeing Elton John in a piazza in Europe is dull, dull, dull. I think I understand though. Have you read her other posts? She does the most amazing idyllic gourmand Eurothings every weekend, so I guess there is a nano-chance that someone in her position could find elton in a piazza worth less then gum on the bottom of her ballet flat. More power to her!! Keep those standards high girl!!!

Nicole

Caitlin in France Says...

Nothing but work for me this weekend. it sucked. and an elton john concert but to be honest, it was in a piazza with 20,000 other people and he kind of waddled around the stage for a few hours. and he is not one to enunciate, which also made it kind of difficult to get a grasp of what was happening. the jumping on the piano was a similiarly embarassing stunt. but, anyway, enough raging on the rocket man. that's it! fill in a gap here or there with some brunch, some drinks, and voila, my very boring weekend.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Mommy N' Me

Friday night, here I go drawing a blank again, hold on, I need to look in my planner....oh wait- let me not forget Thursday night because it was real nice. Mom and R. and I went to Battery Park for an outdoor performance by Ballet Hispanico accompanied by the Afro-Latin Jazz Orchestra who blew a good note, supported by an impeccable sound system and a mature crowd who didn't yak it up during marvelous solos that blasted, not floated, out onto the warm night air. I took my skippies off and we sat on the picnic blanket, which has seen a lot of mileage this summer, and ate sushi, chicken empanadas and banana chip muffins. Everything felt, sounded, looked, tasted, smelled good. The dancers were as excellent as they could be, swathed in gorgeous dresses and character costumes for the males (sailor, waiter, nerd) and there seemed to be a plot that revolved around there always being one girl too many at the nightclub which resulted in a lot of girlfighting and stealing dance partners away from other gals. Also they choreographed the dramatic element of it so that the guy dancers (ballerinos?) were continually swooning over the female dancers, liek fanning themselves and falling over when they sashayed by. After a while it was beginning to offend me that they were trying to put this ruse over on us. The ballerinos were so obviously gay that I kept expecting them to start pairing off and dancing with each other, and honestly kind of really wanted to see that. They should have left EVERY broad standing off to the side! Noone was buying that and I felt the performance was dated in a way, like let's be real, this is New York City, you don't have to pretend with us that these guys are in love with these girls. Shave the beards, ballerinos!
Anyway we next went over to Stone Street, the oldest street in New Amsterdam, and sat at a table outside on the cobblestone street, making nice work of a bottle of petit syrah. I really really like it over there. I went last fall for both an Oysterfest and an Oktoberfest, and I plan on going again this year. You are ALL invited! My mom LOVEDED this street. It reminded her of time spent in France and Holland. Oddly she asked a bunch of her friends who have lived in NY if they'd heard of the street and noone had. I inquired amongst some of my savvy friends as well and they hadn't heard of it either. Stop sleeping. It's beautiful there, very transcendent, and the Oysterfest was a swingin' time. Roll on down to Stone Street!
Friday I asked my mom if she wanted to see El Cantante ans to my shock she said she did! So we went to Times Square (horrors) to see it and went up four thousand escalators to get to teh theater. When we got in there and waited for things to start, I scientifically observed and then postulated that it was going to be a noisy showing. Folks were rattling in Spanish, singing, on the phone, catching up, talking back to other rows, the whole nueve. Well, when the lights went down, this group fell silent. I am going to chalk it up to Marc Anthony's captivating performance. He was REALLY GREAT!! Sexy, skinny, amazing stage presence as Hector Lavoe, beautiful singing voice, outstanding acting, especially the dramatic scenes of drug use and meltdowns...nominate him, those in charge of these things!! Very unfortunately, the movie was eaten alive by JLo. I am not saying she did a bad job, but she dominated every scene. The story was told from her point of view, and we didn't get a rounded take on Hector. Compared to her Marc didn't say a word! I feel I know JLo's character's quirks and motivations, but got very little character devlopment about Lavoe, aside from the usual reasons for fucking up an awesome career, exactly like Johnny Cash and Ray Charles- dead siblings, mean parents, relentless guilt and feelings of unworthiness. Nonetheless rent this pelicula, especially if you are all about Latin music as I am. I also think the Latinos in the theater knew this was their big chance to see their people represented on the big screen so they didn't want to yap through it and instead hung on every delicious word. The second the lights went up there were bursts of singing along with the credits, and dancing took place in the aisles. Alegrias!!!
Saturday I took my sick cat back to the vet and she is now doing worse, not better. I don't want to talk about it here in the annals of good times. You may ask me privately.
Then Mami and I went to the International Center of Photography with her friend Margie to see various exhibits- one was photographs of Amelia Earhart, who was better looking and chicer than I had ever known. Also there were portraits of sundry great African-Americans- politicians, actors, boxers, activists, etc. and some of the pictures captured some truly poignant and important moments and they all showcased some outstanding people. Afterward we went to Bryant Park to drink coffee and have a rootbeer float and watch rather unfashionable people walk by considering it was the top of Fashion Week. However there was one absolute GEM- an old lady, like older than Pat Field, with red hair and red lipstick, wearing purple crocs, a purple miniskirt, sitting with her legs way open, now and then scratching her crotch, with a huge orange Balenciaga bag at her feet, and rocking a graffiti bubble lettered t-shirt that had the nerve to say "Baby Girl" on it!!!!! WHAT!!!!GORGEOUS!! I stealthily took some shots of her on my mom's camera and if she ever sends them to me I will bless this blog with its first ever photo of Baby Girl herself!!
Sunday we had brunch in the very creatively designed back garden at Loulou in Fort Greene with Mom's friend Jacquie. Jacquie has a lot to say. She is an avid traveler and ski instructor in Vermont and she has got to be 65 years old! So brunch was dedicated to how she does it all. Very enlightening. Then Mamacita and I carried on and went to the theater to see a Flamenco show performed by Pilar Rioja. Homegirl is in her 70s and got up on stage and danced better than anyone you or I know can. She was in incredible shape, had long auburn hair, and was draped in incredible dance dresses that were sewn with full skirts to work with the pivoting moves known to Flamenco. It was a very inspiring performance, showing that you can surely do what you love as well as and as long as you want to. It was enough to convince me to take a flamenco dance lesson at the Open Center next Tuesday which is also my birthday.
Then we got home at 9:05, in time for me to miss Britney on the VMA's. I am going to go youtube that shiz right now, thanks for listening!

Nicole

AAAAAAH! HAHAHAHA!

Oh how peals of raucous laughter boomed out around the What Did You Do Last Weekend offices when I read about the TADPOLES on Charlie's hotel bathroom floor!! Run don't walk to Charlie Says and find out what I am laughing at!!

Nicole

Charlie Says...

I didn't do much friday night, went out to my local bar and met my friend Marissa who I haven't seen in about two years. It was fun although I ended up staying out way later than I had planned. I wanted to be in early because this weekend was my first weekend doing this new monday night football thing. So saturday morning I woke up before the sun came up, yes that was fun, and headed to Cincinnati. I've never been to Cincinnati so I was excited, well kinda. I arrive in Cincinnati and meet up with the other members of this team I'm with for this ESPN thing. We're riding to Cincinnati from the airport and we hear about an Oktoberfest in Kentucky, obvious reaction, we have to go. So we get to this Oktoberfest not knowing what to expect, and there was no way to know what to expect. Although when I used to live in Wisconsin I frequented many Oktoberfests and my parents still throw one every year. Lots of great merchandise at this place, wind chimes made out of beer cans, any sort of object with your address painted on it and i think one booth had all of the country's stock of tie-dyed t-shirts. These people were great, never had i seen such a close ratio of number of mouths to number of teeth in those mouths, really great Kentucky, way to go. So we finish shooting and head back to Cincinnati and check into the hotel and blah blah blah, boring work stuff. Finally the game is Monday, we go to shoot all the tailgating. I must say football fans are crazy. I'm not a huge sports fan, I like to watch sports if I'm around them, but I don't really follow teams or stats and stuff like that. We finish shooting and then go into the game. That was cool, I've never been to an NFL game before and it was nice. We had press passes so we got to hang out in the press box and have a ton of free food and it was pretty cool, nothing crazy, just a bunch of journalists with bionoculars and computers, no idea what they were looking at up close. So that was the weekend. I don't know. Not the craziest stuff. I thought it'd be more fun but who knows, it was only the first week of doing this thing. Although, I will tell you this. So I have to share my hotel room with the camera man, whatever, not a big deal. But the guy has dreadlocks. I'm telling you right now, I hate you if you have dreadlocks, so disgusting. I hate them so so so much. So not only do I have to look at these nasty ropes connected to this dudes head, but in the bathroom on the floor it looks like someone sprinkled pubes all over the floor. Not only that but some were all knotted and looked like tadpoles. So disgusting, ugh, stop this dreadlock thing. Well that's it I guess, I wish I had more to say, the airport was kind to me too, usually I run into a handful of undesirables there, but I suppose it was too early for them. Until next weekend.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

J. Fruit Says...

Ah...so I headed back to NYC this weekend. It's a long weekend and one of my friends is moving to London. I manage to survive the bus ride up (which surprisingly lacked the traffic I expected), despite my imaginings of terrorist plots (who the hell is going to bomb a bus load of people coming up from DC?). This south Asian dude with a gimp walk asked to get off the bus at one of the rest stops along the NJ Turnpike. (Yeah, I can be way politically incorrect.) It's not so much that he's south Asian or even that he had some physical limitation but rather pop culture that made me think that some Keyser Sose was targeting the bus I was riding. Of course, I txt some friends to let them know, just in case. That and the fact that I always hate the whiny people who ask to stop. I don't want to spend anymore time with those folks than I absolutely have to. I just want to get to where I want to be. I arrive to my friend Cinnamon's lovely abode and head right out. I join up with A. and G. down in the East Village for a drink at Phoenix. It's gotten a little younger and a lot cuter with the years but it was still boring. A little empty because of the holiday. Bored, we head up to Chelsea bars. There were people there but still a little empty. Nothing exciting happened at all. Though one little (he must've been under 5 feet) boricua (his term not mine; I would've called him a Nuyorican because of his thick NY accent) started chatting with me. I can't remember much of what he said other than I must've been born in the Bronx the way I was chewing my gum. I think it was meant to be a compliment. He also informed me that he'd be at Splash the next night. I didn't make it.
The rest of the weekend was spent with friends who I hadn't seen as often as I would've liked. Lusty Lady and I met for lunch and walked around SOHO, LES and the EVill. Took a nap to recharge for another night out with some more gays, organized by the departing one. But first, I went over to help pack. Well, honestly, I didn't do much more than shred some documents and make drinks. Somewhere in between, we grabbed a bite at Say Cheese in Hell's Kitchen. When we were done, we went over to the Ritz to meet the others saying bon voyage. It was pretty chill. Got a little dancing in. Started flirting with a couple of boys because that's all I'm interested in right now. Oops. I don't think they thought it was anything serious though. Moved on to Barracuda and danced a little more. Ended up at Cafeteria where I ordered the steak with chimichurri.
The next day was a little slower. Had brunch at Rue 57 with J., M., B. and little M. and M.'s parents. It was cool. The waiter was nice and cute. I wasn't the best conversationalist though because I was so tired. Of course, I took the role of manny for a few minutes when necessary. Yeah, that one came to bite me in the ass when I was slow to note that my white jeans were soiled from her little booties. Fortunately, I was too tired to care/go buy a Tide To Go pen. Then, I walked around a bit with J. to Saks and through the Brazilian Independence day celebration. We parted as I went again went to help V.B. with some last minute packing. This time my help consisted of laying on the bed trying to take a nap and accompanying him to have some chips and margaritas. But I did wash the dishes and lug that heavy ass box down to the cab before sending him off to the airport. Headed up to meet J., A., G., and S. and P. for some dinner at Asia-Kan. We could've gotten free drinks by helping to inaugurate the lounge at the restaurant but apparently I hang with high rollers and didn't need to worry about free. S. and P. head back to their baby and the rest of us headed down to the Gym bar, supposedly for the "friendly" gays there. Yeah, the best I could do was have one guy move across the bar after I told him he looked good with salt and pepper hair. I guess I should've let him just stand there and watch the pool game. Extremely tired, I announce that I'm too tired to go on and we call it a night. Cinnamon will be happy to know that I didn't keep everyone out until 5PM in the morn. Labor day plans didn't pan out so I just strolled around thinking I'd grab a burger at the Shake Shack but the line wrapped around the entire bottom of the park. Ugh! I just grabbed a panini from a deli and took a seat on a bench instead. Great weather for it all weekend, so I was glad to be able to just relax and take it in like the sunbathers as the summer ended. I picked up Bram Stoker's Dracula (anyone up for a book club reading?) for the ride. The bus ride down was uneventful though this one girl that I thought was annoying actually was very sweet because she gave me her cup of soda at the Burger King at the rest stop. Yeah, I was grumpy that we stopped then too.

Caitlin in France Says...

Friday, nothing but dinner with my boyfriend's mother so that is not really "blog worthy." But, Saturday I went hiking with some friends into the Jura, which is a mountain range between France and Switzerland. We spent 6 hours hiking through the mountains and even stopped for a gourmet picnic of roasted eggplant, pesto, and fresh rasberries we found on the way. MMMmmmmm. After many a good hour exercising, we put it all to waste and finished the night with a fondue dinner (the best kind with champagne!)...Sunday I went to a barbeque in a town about an hour north of Geneva, and we sat by the lake all day and had a long picnic. Even cooler, my boyfriend went paragliding off another mountain range in Geneva. At night, a spontaneous dinner with friends and many good bottles of wine. The pictures are extraordinary. Unfortunately, we didn't have off on Monday but we do have off tomorrow (Thursday) for a Geneva holiday called "Jeune Genevoise". The holiday dates back to the late 1500s and has something to do with fasting and religion. All most people know is that it is a day off... Will keep you posted on the upcoming weekend! Tickets to Elton John, for better or worse......

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Charlie Says...

Friday night I went around the corner to the usual bar I go to. I met my friend Meghan for a drink or two. Oh yes, I should mention this weekend was my last weekend of my own. I have this new project with work that is traveling with monday night football so my work week is now saturday through wednesday for at least the next eight weeks. So I meet Meghan, she is there with another friend who i haven't met and some of his friends. She was a bit preoccupied with them, but it didn't matter because I fell in love at the bar. Well not really, but this one girl that goes there often I see her every so often but something about friday was different. We shared some glances and almost a smile. She was with another guy and a girl, which i didn't know if she was "with" the guy or the other girl was. In any case, of course, I didn't talk to her. For those of you out there that don't know, I'm the most socially "challenged" person of this millennium. So I'm sure i'll see her again and I'm sure i'll still say nothing, awesome, looking forward to it. So anyway. I call it an early night and head home because when the sun rose the next morning i was headed to philadelphia. One of my friends in boston has a job and he is doing a project in philadelphia, (side note, i will be typing out philadelphia every time because for some reason I hate "philly," another side note i really really hate the name phil, or philip). Also a different friend from boston is dating another of my friend's girlfriend's friend in philadelphia, still with me on that? So i head to philadelphia, which I've never been there before and I'm gonna see friends so I'm excited. I wake up, pack and leave, it's beautiful weather and I'm feeling good. I walk to the bus stop to head to port authority, still feeling good about life at this point, but how that will all change so suddenly. I'm waiting for the bus and it doesn't come, then i think well i'll get on the G train, but then i think well once i go down into the subway the bus is gonna come so i stick it out. So twenty minutes go by and i figure the bus is gonna come. I'm still waiting. I have a half hour to get to port authority and I'm still standing a block away from my apartment, great. So i get a cab, and of course i get in and look behind me and the bus pulls up right then. Whatever I'll deal. So I get to port authority and there's a line for my bus at least two bus loads deep. This has happened to me before. What the hell is the point in selling tickets to something if you're just going to sell more than you can. The purpose of selling a ticket is to guarantee the reservation of space for your person. It makes no sense the way the bus people do it. "Hey lets sell 200 people tickets to get on a 10am bus to philadelphia, best part is we're only gonna run enough buses to take 100 people, suckers." Honestly, cut the shit, i've got places to be. So back on track now. I get on the bus at eleven and we're off. Oh i definitely was the snoring guy on the bus ride down. I woke myself up because of a loud outburst of snore. Which is funny, but at the same time sad because my body was struggling to breathe. Ok fast forward. I'm in philadelphia. My friend evan picks me up and we head to the Mutter Museum (a Museum of Medical Oddities - ed. note). I've been interested in going to the Mutter for a long time. It was nice, I find early medical practices and history quite interesting and the actual building the museum is in is very pretty. From there we head to South Street, which is like the "hip" cool place. It was ok, just stores and other tourist kinda crap. I did notice a plethora of sex stores, mostly sexual attire and what have you. I thought it to be strange I guess philadelphia just has a really high demand for dental floss undies and handcuffs. Then my friends and i headed to dinner at a mexican place which was very good then we returned to the girl's apartment who my friend is dating. The apartment was amazing. She is paying less money than I am and she has this huge one bedroom apartment with laundry machines and a deck that is two to three times the size of my bedroom. Way to go New York. The rest of the night was filled with dessert and drinks. Sunday morning we were off to Eastern State Penitentiary. This was pretty cool. In the middle of philadelphia stands this huge castle looking thing that is the first ever penitentiary. It was pretty crazy and old and creepy. I thought it would be more creepy, but it was real sunny out, i bet if i were to go back at night i'd probably scare myself. So this thing is massive and old and run down. Some of the cell blocks you could go into, but they were still pretty run down, they basically let you go where ever it was safe and something wasn't gonna collapse on you. It was interesting although it's a prison and it's kinda what you would expect. Although for some reason all i could think about was the size of the cells and the size of my bedroom. So they basically built this prison different from our current prison system. The objective was to isolate prisoners for the entire time they were there. When they were brought in they were hooded and couldn't see anything and no one could see their face. And then they were put into their own cell alone. The cell was about 8x16 feet and then on the back through a door was their "backyard" as i thought of it but it was the outdoor section which was the same size of the cell (all of which is bigger than my living space). They never left their cell. There was a window in the wall which was used to send meals in. The cells were completely closed, all cement and stone. Also a fact i thought was cool was that the guards wore wool socks over their boots so the inmates couldn't hear them walking up and down the cell blocks. Anyways if you're still interested, this system clearly didn't end up working because the prison population grew and prisoners could no longer have their own cells and all that. But it was interesting, the whole goal was that a prisoner would be with himself alone for so long, that the only thing to do was reflect on themselves and learn what they did was wrong. So after the prison we went around philadelphia looking for stuff to do but most stuff was closed and then it was time to decide on dinner plans and then that got all screwed up because everyone wanted to do one thing but then one person didn't and everyone wanted to cater to eachother. Blah blah blah and so the night wasn't that fun we went to one place for drinks and then we decided to go bowling and waited two hours for a lane and still didn't get one then my ride and the friend who i was staying with didn't want to stay anymore so we left to another bar which only i was drinking because he was driving and i just gave up and wanted to go to bed because it just wasn't fun and i wanted to stay at the bowling place but since i didn't have the car or the power i was just along for the ride. Well that was philadelphia, next morning got up early headed to the bus station which was not such a clusterfuck as port authority and made it back to new york early. Did some laundry and relaxed for the rest of day. Although still wanting to go to that bar and hopefully run into that girl and look awkwardly at her and never approach her. Awesome. Well those are my weekends because from here on out i'll be working on the weekend. Although depending on how work goes they may make for interesting stories.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Grandmaster G in Toronto (reporting from Amsterdam this week) Says...

The conference I was attending in a small city in the Netherlands finished on Saturday at noon, so I made a break for the train station to get back to Amsterdam as quickly as possible. My travel companion had stayed behind in Amsterdam while I went to my conference. This hardly makes him a travel COMPANION, but he's waiting for me to get back. We quickly set out to make the most of our remaining day and a half in this incredible city.
First, some day-time tourism: get lost on the beautiful streets in the canal district, enjoying the architecture, water, bridges, and bicycles.
The low car traffic makes the city surprisingly quiet. Even a crowded street is relatively silent. Or maybe everyone around me is stoned?
Stop for some traditional dutch food - deep fried everything. Far from tasty - and drink a few Grolsch (which is pronounced Chrols! The 'ch' is that flemmy, back-of-your throat sound... like in chutzpah and chanukah). But the Dutch know cheese and don't limit pancakes to breakfast. The cuisine is redeemed!
So what are these coffee shops all about...? It's getting dark, so we wander into the red light district. Surprisingly not sketchy. And now we know why it's called "red light". We discuss at length the many reasons that a legal redlight district would never fly back home. Can't remember what we came up with, but it seemed REALLY intelligent at the time. We stop at another coffee shop.
The next day, we visit Anne Frank's house -a must see- and then travel out of the city to see windmills, dykes, locks, and we marvel at how Holland deals with- dominates, really- water. If they don't like it, they move it! They dig canals through cities, and dreg the sea bottom to "reintroduce land" whenever they need more space. They create dams, dykes, and locks to keep that land dry. And this technology is all wind powered! Amazing.
One more night of bad behaviour before we fly home. Amsterdam gets 2 thumbs up!

Gregorio in Buenos Aires Says... (reporting from Scotland this week)

Scotland....landed in Edinburgh right during the annual generically-named "International Festival." Really cool though...lots of music and theatrical acts in the streets. Tons of beer being consumed everywhere...and the consistent sound of bagpipes in the distance. Beautiful city too...I really wish my head wasn't pounding the whole time because of jet lag. After that we headed off to the highlands which are right out of Braveheart. Rolling hills and jagged cliffs jutting into the ocean. Very picturesque. The weather, however, was shiiiiite as they call it there. Lots of rain. We rented out an old private hotel for my whole family which was cool. Each one of us had our own room, plus there was a bar downstairs with a pool table, a magnificent dining table (we hired a chef for the week)....and to top it off we were right on the lake. All in all a great trip, great to see my family + all my cousins. I forgot how much fun it can be to be around little kids!

He Said, She Said

I love how we got two takes on the same story- J. Fruit and Juliana went on vacation together and both wrote about it! A mi me gusta la gente morena!

Nicole

J. Fruit Says...

This weekend I went down to the Red Neck Riviera, which I chastised my friend who made the arrangements for calling it that--I know better now. (But she was calling it that while we were out in public there! I convinced her to call it RNR so we wouldn't get lynched. We are brown people after all.) It was a great time though because it's always fun hanging out with friends you don't get to see all the time, no? Anyway, the hotel and beach were nice enough but we could've gotten that anywhere between the Jersey Shore down. The big detraction were the people. First of all, it was a little too family friendly, which in-and-of-itself is not so bad. But coupled with BIG dirty south folk it was not a pretty sight. I don't want to get into the saggy-flabby-folds-of-fat-camel-toe descriptions but take my word for it--it was not a pretty sight. Jumping to the night life, it was a little scary when we are transported back in time by the music (there was only 1 song that they played that was from this year!!!). More frightening still was, at some point in the night, these boys swarmed my girlfriends (2) and start to grind up on them like monkeys in heat. Juliana comes close and tells me to stay close because she doesn't want to be accosted--as if I'm going to throw my faggotty ass down for her! But I play along because I feel safer with her near. One of the violated women tells her "guy" that we're going for a drink. To which he responds, "I can't drink." Meaning he's under 21 (they're allowed down there). Anyway, we don't stay much longer but get a good laugh out of it after we leave. On the way back to the hotel, I ask the cabbie where the gay bars are. The next night after dinner, I go on a scouting trip with my friend to check out the bars that the cabbie mentioned, Time Out and Rainbow House. One was even scarier than what I witnessed the night before (you needed to be buzzed in a door to an almost empty bar) and the other was either for girls or girls night. I drag the girls out to the third bar, Club Hushh, that was closest to the hotel. There were all of 10 people there when we arrived at 11PM. It was divey as I could imagine (but they set up the speakers so that you couldn't hear music from the other room if you were in the other). The drag queens chose the wrong songs to perform to but otherwise it was alright. (I'm not super into drag.) The standout moments were the shot guy giving me a lap dance (that he made some other guy pay for) when I told him that I couldn't buy his shots because I'm allergic to pineapple juice and the bar brawl. Oh yeah, and the drug deal that went down in the bathroom. We were a little too nonplussed by it but of course I had to dig for the dirt behind the fight. They seemed to be ex-lovers where one had broken the windshield of the other a couple of weeks prior. Now, give me my "Dawson's Creek" and "One Tree Hill" dirt!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Betty Hollywood Says...

friday night was a jam session in the ghetto. me and S. packed up the bass and headed down in to god knows where in l.a. (funny . he had on red and I had on blue. I figured if any gangs stopped us, we would at least have one color right) b-town has been jamming with a funk band of late and invited S. who took me. so being the good groupie girlfriend I am, I joined the jam. literally, in a small room, I got on that electric piano set to funky church organ sounds and jammed out. it was super fun. we rounded it out 'round midnite then headed to el compadre for chips, margaritas and (pour moi) arroz con pollo. me and S. had gone to a party like 3 months ago and scored a free netflix account. since then we've got maybe two movies of which we ordered upon registration. we decided Saturday was the day we were going to watch that freeking movie. plus, we got it in our heads to fast, so we were going to fast, flush and watch 2001. come ten AM saturday, we were starving and cranky so we went to the movies to keep the fast going. turns out, we ended up at some schmancy pants landmark theatre in bev hills where they serve beer and a whole bunch of other goodies. fuck the fast. I got popcorn and diet coke and he grabbed a beer and rasisinettes. we would not do well in a food recession. rocket science and resurrecting the champ later, we grabbed sushi and headed home to finally watch 2001. I had never seen it. afterwards we had much discussion on time continuum and God. sunday, S. headed to work and I headed to jenny roop's bday brunch at hamburger mary's. its in west hollywood. great gay fun. jenny roop is a lesbo so it was fun to hang with the gay crowd at the ridiculously over the top homo spot. I made friends with some guests but there was a bitchy boy sitting across from me that got me so angry with his asshole attitude that I threw down my napkin and left. thats what happens when you serve me champers before lunch. I finished off the day working on my book and shopping for clothes for my big VH-1 gig this week. next weekend is mine and S.'s six month anniv (can you believe!?). we are going to universal studios for the day. thats where we were on our first date. some would think celebrating six months is crazyville but anyone who knows me knows that if I truly still like someone at six months then thats reason to celebrate! stay tuned...

Juliana Says...

My weekend actually started last Thursday when I took an early-a.m. flight to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit my college roommate, Mimi. Mimi & I lived together for three years at Rutgers… she graduated a year ahead of me & was like my surrogate-sister there. She’s since married her long-time honey, Brent, and has been living in Charlotte for 12 years now. I've yet to visit her new home or life there… I know I know, I suck.

Anyway, I got there & she picked me up at the airport with her cutie-patootie daughter, Mia, who, unfortunately proceeded to wail her head off upon seeing me… I only mention this because 1) I never quite had that effect on a kid before (usually they love me – really) and 2) it kind of set the mood for the rest of the weekend: anytime I came near the kid, she wailed… we got a little better towards the end, but I certainly couldn’t pick her up without her screaming – which I guess isn’t that bad since it spared my back. hehehe Anyway, to be fair to the kid, Mimi says she’s going through a phase where she cries whenever she sees someone new – even her own granny, which made me feel slightly better considering Granny’s been there since the beginning, but whatever, (Note: I plan to remind the kid of her poor behavior when she’s a teen & wants to crash at her cool Tita Juliana’s place in the big city! But I ain’t bit-tah.) Back to Charlotte, don’t have much to say about the town except that it basically fulfilled all of my expectations: very clean, very bright, very corporate and very suburban. Everything seemed sparsely laid out for some reason… even the traffic. The houses are all lovely and very new looking – even those that are 80-years+. Weird, no? Folks are very big on maintenance. Later that night, after running around all day seeing the sights and such, Mimi, Brent, lil’ Mia & I went to dinner to PF Chang’s, which I think exists in NJ but I've never been to… it’s like a higher-end chain restaurant for Chinese food. I had a medley of bad-for-you-things-that-tasted-yummy [Note: this marked the beginning of my poor eating for the rest of weekend…]

Friday, after waking up relatively on-time (Mia screamed her head off when she & mommy walked into my room & saw me half-asleep; told her I've gotten that reaction before so whatever), we packed the car & headed off with Mia to Myrtle Beach, SC – aka, the Redneck Riviera. [Now, to be fair, I was expecting A LOT worse… you know, Dixie flags, missing teeth, mullets, wife-beaters (both tees & men) etc. Instead, I found the Southern version of the Jersey shore: very family & car-oriented, kind-of-blue-collar but much cleaner. I've got to give it to Southerners, they take better care of their towns than we do.] The drive took nearly 4 hours (yikes) but we treated it like the road trip we never got to do in college – yapping it up, listening to music, gossiping… Once there, we met up with Mimi’s childhood friend Kathy & our fellow alum (& my high school friend) Sira. Mimi & Brent were generous enough to let us all use their timeshare, so hotel was free! (Whoo hoo! I love free.) We stayed in the southern part of Myrtle – I’m told the northern part is the “classier” part… whatever that means.

Anyway, we hung out on the beach for a couple of hours (the water is great – so warm! Like bathwater, albeit clean – or at least as clean as the ocean can be) and then after getting ready, headed off to dinner at this huge complex called “Broadway at the Beach” which basically is a tourist mecca/mini-city unto itself. It houses dozens of restaurants, bars, clubs, kids’ rides & stores where we ate at a Brazilian Churrasceria (yet again pigging out) that piled on the meat – a vegetarian’s worst nightmare. Afterwards, Mimi, Kathy, Sira & I left the manny (Brent) to watch Mia while we went to get our drink on. We eventually ended up in a club that housed three different places in one: a live show & two side clubs that basically alternated the same lame music. Observations: folks like to dance a-la-stripper. Also, there were NO cute folks out. Ok, I know that’s not nice to say but living in NYC you get used to seeing a certain type of beautiful people – it’s actually nauseating after awhile (not to mention exhausting trying to keep up since it becomes such a pricey fashion show), but there we certainly didn’t have to worry about not looking cute enough for the place. Anyway, we closed the place down & grabbed a cab back… [Note: we asked our cabbie where the locals hung out, and he said all the places that we went to… so sad.]

The next morning we had a late breakfast at a local pancake house (where again, the portions were huge – I only mention this because after this weekend, I gained back 5 lbs!) & each headed off to the beach in our own time. I got there at the prime burning hour… normally I’d be more careful, but I've been to the beach a handful of times this summer so I didn’t want to waste any tanning opportunities (I’ll rue the day one day I know). After several hours of just hanging on the beach & swimming, we made our way back to our hotel rooms & rested before going out again. This time we went to a seafood restaurant in that same mega-complex… observation about menus down there: EVERYTHING is fried. Not kidding. Still, managed to find the one dish that was broiled instead of fried, only to discover that they salt the shit out of everything. Mind you, I like me some salt – so much so that friends have threatened to get me a salt stick for Xmas (not that I’d probably mind) – but the food down there was too salty for even me! Crazy!

Anyhoo, afterwards, we decided to check out some of the gay establishments for the evening. We had asked our cabbie from the night before and he had given us the name of three places (yes, that’s right – only three places) and Sira had taken it upon himself to check them out beforehand so we wouldn’t waste time… out of the three places: the first one was lesbian – or at least that night – & useless for our purposes; the second was a “private club” with a (get this) $2 membership fee & $5 all-you-can-drink-fee – Sira peeked in & surprisingly enough, said it looked kind of scary; the third option was called “Hush” (I think it may have had more than one “S” in its name… like a lisp… original, no?). We went with door #3. This establishment had two large rooms, one with the bar area & large lounge/table area that we all decided had potential but needed a serious makeover & to get rid of the florescent lighting, and the other room was it’s complete opposite with dark lighting, a dance floor and long stage area with an aluminum foil covered backdrop. We were obviously the only tourists in there as everyone there seemed to know each other already (*insert Cheers theme song*) and – no joke – had their own little dance that they all seemed to be practiced in (I forget the song, but it goes something like this “You go left left then right right down the stairs down the stairs…”) Sira informed me that all the music played was dirty south whatever that means… However, the highlight of the evening was their drag show. Yup! We got to see a real drag show in good ol’ uptight Myrtle Beach. [Note: Mind you, this is the city that makes it illegal to wear a thong at the beach – I mean, don’t get me wrong, it probably should be illegal & lord knows, you’d certainly never catch me in one on the beach in a 100 years – but good god people! They’ve got time on their hands!] Anyway, there were several performers and while one stood out, the others were frankly scary. Thank god they haven’t brought their acts to NYC because they’d seriously get ripped apart. Poor girls! Seriously, one in particular looked like she was playing dress up with mama’s clothes, down to the white platform mary-janes & blue eyeshadow. It pained me to watch. On the plus side, one fierce lady did that “Umbrella” song in a fabulous emerald green get-up with this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge green tasseled beach umbrella – she rocked it. Anyway, we stayed there all night because seriously, there wasn’t anywhere else to go. Alas, there were no cute boys there either.

The next morning after having another huge brunch, we each went our separate ways to catch our flights back. Mimi & I drove back to Charlotte where we got caught in this amazing lightning storm – it was pretty scary there for a bit, but pretty amazing to see on such flat spaces. Anyway, caught my flight back to NYC & made it home in one piece despite some rocky going…

Love My Good And Plenty!!

Welcome, Charlie! Charlie lives in Greenpoint Brooklyn. Welcome him! Does anyone want to go meet Charlie at the Pencil Factory? HAHA- Charlie and the Pencil Factory! I kill me!
Obviously there are a lot of fun little jokes with Charlie's name. I call him Charlie Tuna in my head.

Nicole

Charlie Says...

Friday I left work early to get home to pack for a weekend in Boston. My friend was driving so I was excited not to have to spend four hours on a cramped bus. One thing she had forgotten to tell me was that her roommate was coming along as well, whom I have dated years before. Which at this point her and I are like oil and water. So i survive the drive up, just sit in the back seat and stare out the window. Finally we arrive in Boston about 2 hours later than I expected, mostly because of traffic and a very annoying "lets sit and relax at Wendy's" type of dinner, which I didn't eat because it was fast food and all i wanted to do was keep driving. So we get there, my friend drops me off at my other friend's apartment where i'm staying and have previously lived years before. We decide to go out in Cambridge near Harvard and my buddy Todd decides he will drive us. We walk around the corner to the car and Todd decides he doesn't want to drive us anymore and goes back into the house. Whatever we just walk to another bar, have a great time, day is over. The next morning is my friend Nick's birthday. The plan is to go to the beach in Gloucester. Now if you don't know me, I never ever ever go to the beach. In fact you may hear me say that I hate the beach. But I'm on this new kick to experience things again for the first time, so I say what the hell I'll go and it's Nick's birthday. So we're at the beach, it's beautiful, i go in the water, this is probably my first time in the ocean in like 7 years. That's the other thing, i hate swimming, whatever i'll try it again. So i get in the water it's freezing but i get used to it and have a great time swimming. Get out of the water, it's sunny and nice. There is a nice breeze coming off the water so you can lay there and not feel like your skin is on fire from the sun. At this point i'll fill you in on another hate of mine. I can't stand the feeling of the sun on my skin. Like prolonged massive body area exposure. So this coupled with my lack of swimming and visits to beaches also means i haven't had my clothes off under the summer sun in years, many many years. So with my virgin pasty skin and a nice cool breeze i don't realize that i'm cooking from the outside in. We have a great time at the beach and head home. We get home and start to clean up because for Nick's birthday dinner, someone decided to have a "fast food pot luck." So it was determined that everyone would go out to any fast food joint and purchase 10 dollars worth of food and then bring it all together for a big dinner. I withheld from this activity for two reasons. First if i had it would have made me so sick and the food was gross. Which after eating many of my friends felt real bad. Second reason is; my skin was on fire. I got home and was completely red. I let my friends go to the dinner and i make my way there eventually after i get some extra strength tylenol and some spray stuff to soothe my skin. After dinner the plan was to go to a bar and then a party at a old coworker of mine's house. While waiting for everyone to get together to go i completely passed out on the couch. Not so much on the couch but over the arm of the couch with the air conditioner blowing cold air on my back. So i missed out on fun saturday night. Well i guess that was the weekend. It was fun though. I now know that i do like the beach and will probably go back and i now wear sun block from head to toe even if i don't leave the house, just as a precaution.

Monday, August 27, 2007

I Can Never Remember

The first time someone asks me on Monday how my weekend was I draw a total blank, and my initial silence and puzzled look on my face makes whatever I finally remember and describe sound like I actually did nothing all weekend, and am thinking up some lies to tell on the spot to make me seem not a loser. I should rehearse my weekend speech on the train Monday mornings.
Friday night I went to get a little food & drink at Olea which is about a block from my house. SO glad it's so close in proximity to my spot since they have a beer selection that I love (they always have Moretti and Tapetto Volante), and a delicious Mediterranean menu, from which I always order the apps and the small plates, and I ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL order the falafel-crusted artichoke hearts with eggplant salad. I had that, of course, and perfect boqerones, along with one each of the abovementioned beers.
Then I watched a very very depressing documentary called "Children Underground". It is about homeless children in Romania in the aftermath of Ceaucescu's determination to expand the country's workforce by outlawing contraception and creating lots more future workers. There were so many "extra" children born this way, to dysfunctional and broken homes, that thousands of them wound up runaways from orphanages, or directly homeless without having passed thru an orphanage along the way. Two of the street children, who sleep in the subway and huff Aurolac (paint) are siblings and they are ten and eight years old!!! It was very hard to watch these little kids being wild in the streets, hungry and high and dirty, and to see how they organized into gangs with leaders, which actually seemed to provide little or no security as the members were always fighting, beating each other (which is what the parents of many of these kids did that caused them to take to the streets in the first place), stealing from each other, and getting yelled at and beaten by the leader. I didn't really see the benefit of banding together like that. Anyway, if you can stand to see it, the film was a very vivid depiction of ruined lives with small chance of rehabilitation for more than a few reasons. If you feel like you haven't cared about anything in a while, this will make you feel compassion for others not as well off as you are. Perspective, people.
Saturday I took my cat to the oncologist and learned that her chemotherapy treatment is working well! Good for us! Her lumps and enlarged lymph node have reduced to normal and barely palpable sizes. Afterward I took the 24 inch BMX Cruiser out to Prospect Heights to have a tour of the apartment my friend Andy just bought. Nice place, Andy! It was wiltingly hot but we set out to get some lunch and then to pick out paint samples for the apartment at Pintchik. We ate at Burrito Bar on Flatbush and watched the Little League World Series on ESPN. It was funny to see all these 11-14 year old kids. Today's kids all have names like Brock, Tyler, Taylor and Payton, and Andy and I amused ourselves by determining which of these kids were going to grow up to be the biggest jock douches and get all the girls.
What then? Oh, I saw Superbad. This is not a movie review blog so I am not going to get all into it, but this movie gets 5 stars, 4 golden mics, and 3 thumbs up. I had heard very good things but I didn't really believe it, until I saw the show with mine own eyes and loved every character and joke in the movie. It was pretty perfect. Rush right out!
Sunday I went to brunch at 5 Ninth in their small and lovely garden and ate polenta with sunny side up eggs and chorizo. 2 good 2 be 4 gotten! Then I went to a community garden, Lotus Garden, on top of a parking garage on the upper west side and saw 2 koi (really goldfish, I'd say) ponds and some beautiful flowers and a peach tree and sat there for a while chewing gum.
Afterward my dear Sunday companion and I went to some men's stores so he could purchase a new leather manbag, and he got a great looking one at Kenneth Cole and also tried on a smokin hot leather coat there that was a perfect fit and look but wasn't warm enough for his tastes.
Then I went to pick up my friend Meg at the hair salon where she works, Salon V, and her co-workers and I went to Yuca for Sangria and the like. One girl was drinking this nuts hybrid margarita/sangria drink, that when you sipped thru the straw you could taste the two cocktails separately in the glass one after another! One of her co-workers, a rare straight male stylist, had just moved back to NYC after a 7-year stint doing hair in North Caroliney on "Dawson's Creek" and "One Tree Hill," and he of course had some good- ass insider gossip that he was happy to share. IF you send me a weekend report I will pass it on to you. After catching a buzz, I was still not prepared to go sing "Jesse's Girl" backed by a live band at my friend Alanna's karaoke bday party at the Baggot Inn (co-hosted with Noah from the Big Quiz Thing), which I went ahead and did anyway and sang way too high on the advice of some girl in the bathroom who felt that since it was a man's voice originally I'd better start high and work my way down the octaves. (Meg laughed really hard when she heard I had had a karaoke conference in the ladies room.) Error! I heard myself sing terribly so I made up for it with both rock and hip hop stage moves and high energy. I was congratulated afterward so I guess it wasn't totally hateful. Then I peaced out and went home to bed.

Nicole

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Let's Hear About My Weekend Now

Hi, my turn:

Friday I simply cannot remember, not because I was drunk, just because I don't think I did anything really. I know I took the ferry home from my temp job in Jersey City at Lehman Brothers, and after that I come up blank. I know I wanted to watch Intervention, but remembered that my cable has been out since I returned from Buenos Aires on August 1st, which I am not really complaining about because ever since the tv has been off I've seen a bunch of good DVDs, and otherwise have been alternating between reading The Economist and studying Spanish. So it follows that that is probably what I did on Friday night.
Saturday I went to the Delicious Sandwich Social (DSS), with Alanna, M.C., and Adrienne, held in Prospect Park and orchestrated by Jon Friedman. Here's what you do to go to this thing once a year: You make or get a sandwich (after not much thought, I went with Classic baloney and mustard on white, purchased at the Superior Deli), cut it in half, eat your half at your leisure, label your other half, adding your email to the label, and give it to the DSS Committee, and then eventually you pick a sammy half out of the grab-bag and hopefully you like what you picked and you eat it!! Then you're meant to go around and find who made your sammich and who ate your half. This breakdown of events is what I thought was supposed to happen. I wasn't quite right about how I figured it would go down. It is quite an unusual and creative event and I don't know if I or everyone else knew just what to do...I didn't socialize much too much with those I didn't know and I found out who got the half I provided this way: all the sammiches went into big garbage bags (divided by vegetarian and meat, for those of you who ask questions of the sort I ask), and you had gotten a number when you turned in your sandwich half which was now randomly called, and when you go up you stick your mitt into the bag of your choice and then read to the crowd triumphantly what type of sandwich you pulled out and everyone cheers. So utilizing this process, everyone knows who got their sandwich bc you see someone getting it, eliminating half of the social opportunity to go meet people and seek out your foodmate. Then, when I got my sandwich half (hot roast beef and mozz on a hero) I read off the name of and thanked the guy who'd made it, giving him a chance to get props for the good vittles and also to see who it was. I guess I was trying to find a shortcut to knowing the sandwichmaker rather than actually asking everyone in the party, esp. because I didn't see a lot of that happening. Noone replied. The next day, I emailed him (remember how I said you put your email on the wrapper?) to thank him this way and dude never wrote back!!! How very extremely anti-social!! I'm not saying that it wasn't a nice day in the park and that there weren't free cupcakes, which was generous and they were really good, but I am saying that I am going to spearhead the Logistics Committee next summer bc this event needs some tweaking. If anyone on the committee is even remotely interested in my constructive criticism, they can take a meeting with me. Oh, one other good thing was this guy Tony who would now and again get on our blanket during this party and who for some reason said you can get on the L.I.E. and it will take you right to Belize.
After the DSS, I went to this coffee/chocolate/wine bar in Park Slope so Adrienne could get a latte. I rather admired the place, liked the art on the walls and approved the furnishings and the backyard garden. After my little lookaround, I perched in a windowseat with a tiny ledge behind me that held little votive candles. In the middle of discussing media on which to print photographs Adrienne suddenly shouts "Oh my god!" I gaped at her and then I smelled it. One millisecond later I too shouted "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD" when I realized that the acrid smell was my ponytail singeing away in the fucking candle that these crackheads placed right behind a person's back when they sit in this seat. What I didn't like was that I grabbed my hair with my hands which could have been burned if there were actual flames. This was not a Michael Jackson scenario though bc I think the deal with his hair inferno was that he had a lot of products in his hair. I myself am a natural beauty and use virtually none...so my hair did not go up in flames. Evidently hair just singes. A lot. A chunk came off in my hands as I pulled it around the front to see what was happening. What struck me most about this occurence is twofold. One, Adrienne, when requested that, in future occurrences of such fiascos, she say more words like Oh My God Your Hair Is On Fire or Oh My God Your Hair at least, admitted that she was lame for not saying more or snapping into action and yanking my hair from the candle or the candle from my hair. She is basically excused bc she is my friend, and bc she did have a period of self-reflection where she was befuddled by her inability to find her words or kinetics and be more proactive. At least she knew that her stillness was wrong and didn't think it wasn't her job to get involved, as some of my nameless narcissistic friends would think. Two, NONE of the employees in the shop ran over, none came with a bucket, none even ambled over to see if I was okay after the incident seemed to have peaked. I had to walk past them at the far end of the shop on the way to the bathroom to finger-comb all the crispy ends out of my locks, at which point they inquired what had happened and if I was all right. These people should have done something. Their lack of concern really motivated my thinking that if I had burned my hair off or burned my skin, I would have sued the chocolate out of that place, taken ownership of it and turned it into a god damn Candle Emporium.
After, we went to Habana Outpost in Ft. Greene BK which is always cool but I think I am losing interest. It is always so completely full of all of its elements- soul music, young designer's market, the grilled corn with the queso blanco on it, the too gorgeous multi-culti customer base- that it feels superficial, like all the parts were brought together and the people were cast to create a show called "Habana Outpost". There is no real there there and it is really hard to get a seat. Eh, I probably won't go again on the weekend for a while. Saturday night I stayed home, avoiding a bday party in the last dangerous part left in the LES, and I think I watched "The Last Kiss" with Zach Braff. Did any of you see it and what did you think?
Sunday I woke up early and went to sticky-floored Nevada Smith's to watch Chelsea Vs. Liverpool. It was a tie, 1-1. I saw a bunch of my soccer-watching and -playing friends there who genuinely seemed like they actually noticed I was gone for a month and that they had missed me. Lovely. And the chicken pie was the best I have ever had there, literally 100 times better, they must have gotten a new meatpie distributor. What else? Oh we went over to Central Bar after the game and watched some Latin American soccer and I ate cheesy beans on toast and turned my nose up at the black & white pudding. Noone knew what is in the white pudding part but they knew what made the other part black and I wanted no part of it.
After this merriment I cruised on home to join a party at my apt that was thrown by my roommate Sarah for her female college volleyball team that she coaches as her profession. The place was packed with Amazons and enough food to feed a team of Amazons. I ate seven layer dip and made some charming comments about feeling like I was in the waiting room for auditions for America's Next Top Model (many of them were pretty good looking) and after making them all love me I went into my room to play with my cats and go to bed early.
When I got to work Monday I asked the IT guy how his weekend was. He said, "Great- I was in a drunken stupor all weekend!" I countered with, "Oh yeah? My hair went on fire!" and he said "You've got me beat. Trumped!" Alli esta! (There it is!)

Nicole

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Hamburglar

Fruity, I don't mean to laugh bc iI bet that was scary for a long minute, but that self-burglary story is really funny!! Glad it was you who did it to yourself!

Nicole

J. Fruit Says...

The weekend got to a slow start when I had to drag some friends out for one of their bdays. I drank a little much and stumbled home. (Dragging people out is never the way to start a celebration.) It led to a late start getting on the road to Richmond. Got there late but we kept our plans to hit VA Beach. It was a nice beach but there wasn't much by way of restaurants or culture. Southern VA loves it some haunted houses though. Shockoe Bottom was a really cute neighborhood that I enjoyed hanging out in (there was a haunted mansion here too). It's all the more impressive when you learn that it was almost 6 ft deep underwater 3 years ago!!! Saturday night I had dinner at Havana 59. Its stylings were impeccable if the food left a little to be desired. Check it out at night and, if you can look beyond the non-Cubans there, you might think you were actually in Havana. Grab a deck of cards on the table and have a great time like we did playing Spit. The next day we had brunch at Cafe Gutenberg (also in Shockoe Bottom). Then we went down to the James River (which cuts through Richmond). It was pretty cool and decently clean. I would've had a swim if I were prepared. Apparently, we could've gone kayaking on it as well. Instead, I dipped my feet in and stared at the finely chiseled guys taking a hanging out on the rocks. After struggling back home through much traffic (though not nearly as bad as the way down), I arrived at home suspecting I had been burglarized. It took awhile to realize that I was very drunk Friday night and flew out on Saturday morning such that I just didn't notice that I threw my mail, clothes, and a large abandoned sketch pad I picked up on the way home on strewn all over the floor. Um...maybe I should give up my boozing.

Back to Lisa

I liked posting her report because "Lisa Says" is a song by the Velvet Underground. That reminds me, I am now going to go buy some "El Cantante" songs in Itunes. Don't poke fun.

Nicole

EEEEEE!

Everyone say hello to Eli(as) from Buenos Aires! He is an American working there in Commercial Real Estate and he speaks fluent Spanish and is living quite a nice little life down there, with the job and the hobbies and the binlinguality and the good food and the 2-br apt with a sick view. He is young and has already done this big life thing so he commands my respect and admiration. He was a dynamo to hang out with too, especially when, what was it, Nate Dogg? comes on!!

PROPS!!

Nicole

Eli from Buenos Aires Says...

I took Wed-Fri off of work to play host to two very good friends who came to visit. We went to 3 clubs - Mynt, Lost and Kika, 2 bars, and (edited out for the sake of the poster).
We took off later to some estancia/retreat to recuperate and also, take the opportunity to kick out an unwanted house guest (she tried to make me change my shirt!). I ate at just about every restaurant that was in Lonely Planet and some that were not. Had to double dip at the favorites. Very little sleep was involved but I'm as happy as I've ever been.

Welcome, Kind New Poster!!

A large with sugarcone and two toppings welcome to Lisa who totally gets it and has graced the blog with a good weekend report replete with links and descriptive info. Well done! Keep 'em coming!!!
Not a lot of you are into veggie/vegan things but I definitely lean that way a lot of the time so if anyone wants to break on through to the other side and check out Lisa's rec I'd be willing to ambassador them. However I still do not have the foggiest idea what is in vegan ice cream so don't be asking me.

Nicole