Thursday, August 30, 2007

Grandmaster G in Toronto (reporting from Amsterdam this week) Says...

The conference I was attending in a small city in the Netherlands finished on Saturday at noon, so I made a break for the train station to get back to Amsterdam as quickly as possible. My travel companion had stayed behind in Amsterdam while I went to my conference. This hardly makes him a travel COMPANION, but he's waiting for me to get back. We quickly set out to make the most of our remaining day and a half in this incredible city.
First, some day-time tourism: get lost on the beautiful streets in the canal district, enjoying the architecture, water, bridges, and bicycles.
The low car traffic makes the city surprisingly quiet. Even a crowded street is relatively silent. Or maybe everyone around me is stoned?
Stop for some traditional dutch food - deep fried everything. Far from tasty - and drink a few Grolsch (which is pronounced Chrols! The 'ch' is that flemmy, back-of-your throat sound... like in chutzpah and chanukah). But the Dutch know cheese and don't limit pancakes to breakfast. The cuisine is redeemed!
So what are these coffee shops all about...? It's getting dark, so we wander into the red light district. Surprisingly not sketchy. And now we know why it's called "red light". We discuss at length the many reasons that a legal redlight district would never fly back home. Can't remember what we came up with, but it seemed REALLY intelligent at the time. We stop at another coffee shop.
The next day, we visit Anne Frank's house -a must see- and then travel out of the city to see windmills, dykes, locks, and we marvel at how Holland deals with- dominates, really- water. If they don't like it, they move it! They dig canals through cities, and dreg the sea bottom to "reintroduce land" whenever they need more space. They create dams, dykes, and locks to keep that land dry. And this technology is all wind powered! Amazing.
One more night of bad behaviour before we fly home. Amsterdam gets 2 thumbs up!

Gregorio in Buenos Aires Says... (reporting from Scotland this week)

Scotland....landed in Edinburgh right during the annual generically-named "International Festival." Really cool though...lots of music and theatrical acts in the streets. Tons of beer being consumed everywhere...and the consistent sound of bagpipes in the distance. Beautiful city too...I really wish my head wasn't pounding the whole time because of jet lag. After that we headed off to the highlands which are right out of Braveheart. Rolling hills and jagged cliffs jutting into the ocean. Very picturesque. The weather, however, was shiiiiite as they call it there. Lots of rain. We rented out an old private hotel for my whole family which was cool. Each one of us had our own room, plus there was a bar downstairs with a pool table, a magnificent dining table (we hired a chef for the week)....and to top it off we were right on the lake. All in all a great trip, great to see my family + all my cousins. I forgot how much fun it can be to be around little kids!

He Said, She Said

I love how we got two takes on the same story- J. Fruit and Juliana went on vacation together and both wrote about it! A mi me gusta la gente morena!

Nicole

J. Fruit Says...

This weekend I went down to the Red Neck Riviera, which I chastised my friend who made the arrangements for calling it that--I know better now. (But she was calling it that while we were out in public there! I convinced her to call it RNR so we wouldn't get lynched. We are brown people after all.) It was a great time though because it's always fun hanging out with friends you don't get to see all the time, no? Anyway, the hotel and beach were nice enough but we could've gotten that anywhere between the Jersey Shore down. The big detraction were the people. First of all, it was a little too family friendly, which in-and-of-itself is not so bad. But coupled with BIG dirty south folk it was not a pretty sight. I don't want to get into the saggy-flabby-folds-of-fat-camel-toe descriptions but take my word for it--it was not a pretty sight. Jumping to the night life, it was a little scary when we are transported back in time by the music (there was only 1 song that they played that was from this year!!!). More frightening still was, at some point in the night, these boys swarmed my girlfriends (2) and start to grind up on them like monkeys in heat. Juliana comes close and tells me to stay close because she doesn't want to be accosted--as if I'm going to throw my faggotty ass down for her! But I play along because I feel safer with her near. One of the violated women tells her "guy" that we're going for a drink. To which he responds, "I can't drink." Meaning he's under 21 (they're allowed down there). Anyway, we don't stay much longer but get a good laugh out of it after we leave. On the way back to the hotel, I ask the cabbie where the gay bars are. The next night after dinner, I go on a scouting trip with my friend to check out the bars that the cabbie mentioned, Time Out and Rainbow House. One was even scarier than what I witnessed the night before (you needed to be buzzed in a door to an almost empty bar) and the other was either for girls or girls night. I drag the girls out to the third bar, Club Hushh, that was closest to the hotel. There were all of 10 people there when we arrived at 11PM. It was divey as I could imagine (but they set up the speakers so that you couldn't hear music from the other room if you were in the other). The drag queens chose the wrong songs to perform to but otherwise it was alright. (I'm not super into drag.) The standout moments were the shot guy giving me a lap dance (that he made some other guy pay for) when I told him that I couldn't buy his shots because I'm allergic to pineapple juice and the bar brawl. Oh yeah, and the drug deal that went down in the bathroom. We were a little too nonplussed by it but of course I had to dig for the dirt behind the fight. They seemed to be ex-lovers where one had broken the windshield of the other a couple of weeks prior. Now, give me my "Dawson's Creek" and "One Tree Hill" dirt!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Betty Hollywood Says...

friday night was a jam session in the ghetto. me and S. packed up the bass and headed down in to god knows where in l.a. (funny . he had on red and I had on blue. I figured if any gangs stopped us, we would at least have one color right) b-town has been jamming with a funk band of late and invited S. who took me. so being the good groupie girlfriend I am, I joined the jam. literally, in a small room, I got on that electric piano set to funky church organ sounds and jammed out. it was super fun. we rounded it out 'round midnite then headed to el compadre for chips, margaritas and (pour moi) arroz con pollo. me and S. had gone to a party like 3 months ago and scored a free netflix account. since then we've got maybe two movies of which we ordered upon registration. we decided Saturday was the day we were going to watch that freeking movie. plus, we got it in our heads to fast, so we were going to fast, flush and watch 2001. come ten AM saturday, we were starving and cranky so we went to the movies to keep the fast going. turns out, we ended up at some schmancy pants landmark theatre in bev hills where they serve beer and a whole bunch of other goodies. fuck the fast. I got popcorn and diet coke and he grabbed a beer and rasisinettes. we would not do well in a food recession. rocket science and resurrecting the champ later, we grabbed sushi and headed home to finally watch 2001. I had never seen it. afterwards we had much discussion on time continuum and God. sunday, S. headed to work and I headed to jenny roop's bday brunch at hamburger mary's. its in west hollywood. great gay fun. jenny roop is a lesbo so it was fun to hang with the gay crowd at the ridiculously over the top homo spot. I made friends with some guests but there was a bitchy boy sitting across from me that got me so angry with his asshole attitude that I threw down my napkin and left. thats what happens when you serve me champers before lunch. I finished off the day working on my book and shopping for clothes for my big VH-1 gig this week. next weekend is mine and S.'s six month anniv (can you believe!?). we are going to universal studios for the day. thats where we were on our first date. some would think celebrating six months is crazyville but anyone who knows me knows that if I truly still like someone at six months then thats reason to celebrate! stay tuned...

Juliana Says...

My weekend actually started last Thursday when I took an early-a.m. flight to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit my college roommate, Mimi. Mimi & I lived together for three years at Rutgers… she graduated a year ahead of me & was like my surrogate-sister there. She’s since married her long-time honey, Brent, and has been living in Charlotte for 12 years now. I've yet to visit her new home or life there… I know I know, I suck.

Anyway, I got there & she picked me up at the airport with her cutie-patootie daughter, Mia, who, unfortunately proceeded to wail her head off upon seeing me… I only mention this because 1) I never quite had that effect on a kid before (usually they love me – really) and 2) it kind of set the mood for the rest of the weekend: anytime I came near the kid, she wailed… we got a little better towards the end, but I certainly couldn’t pick her up without her screaming – which I guess isn’t that bad since it spared my back. hehehe Anyway, to be fair to the kid, Mimi says she’s going through a phase where she cries whenever she sees someone new – even her own granny, which made me feel slightly better considering Granny’s been there since the beginning, but whatever, (Note: I plan to remind the kid of her poor behavior when she’s a teen & wants to crash at her cool Tita Juliana’s place in the big city! But I ain’t bit-tah.) Back to Charlotte, don’t have much to say about the town except that it basically fulfilled all of my expectations: very clean, very bright, very corporate and very suburban. Everything seemed sparsely laid out for some reason… even the traffic. The houses are all lovely and very new looking – even those that are 80-years+. Weird, no? Folks are very big on maintenance. Later that night, after running around all day seeing the sights and such, Mimi, Brent, lil’ Mia & I went to dinner to PF Chang’s, which I think exists in NJ but I've never been to… it’s like a higher-end chain restaurant for Chinese food. I had a medley of bad-for-you-things-that-tasted-yummy [Note: this marked the beginning of my poor eating for the rest of weekend…]

Friday, after waking up relatively on-time (Mia screamed her head off when she & mommy walked into my room & saw me half-asleep; told her I've gotten that reaction before so whatever), we packed the car & headed off with Mia to Myrtle Beach, SC – aka, the Redneck Riviera. [Now, to be fair, I was expecting A LOT worse… you know, Dixie flags, missing teeth, mullets, wife-beaters (both tees & men) etc. Instead, I found the Southern version of the Jersey shore: very family & car-oriented, kind-of-blue-collar but much cleaner. I've got to give it to Southerners, they take better care of their towns than we do.] The drive took nearly 4 hours (yikes) but we treated it like the road trip we never got to do in college – yapping it up, listening to music, gossiping… Once there, we met up with Mimi’s childhood friend Kathy & our fellow alum (& my high school friend) Sira. Mimi & Brent were generous enough to let us all use their timeshare, so hotel was free! (Whoo hoo! I love free.) We stayed in the southern part of Myrtle – I’m told the northern part is the “classier” part… whatever that means.

Anyway, we hung out on the beach for a couple of hours (the water is great – so warm! Like bathwater, albeit clean – or at least as clean as the ocean can be) and then after getting ready, headed off to dinner at this huge complex called “Broadway at the Beach” which basically is a tourist mecca/mini-city unto itself. It houses dozens of restaurants, bars, clubs, kids’ rides & stores where we ate at a Brazilian Churrasceria (yet again pigging out) that piled on the meat – a vegetarian’s worst nightmare. Afterwards, Mimi, Kathy, Sira & I left the manny (Brent) to watch Mia while we went to get our drink on. We eventually ended up in a club that housed three different places in one: a live show & two side clubs that basically alternated the same lame music. Observations: folks like to dance a-la-stripper. Also, there were NO cute folks out. Ok, I know that’s not nice to say but living in NYC you get used to seeing a certain type of beautiful people – it’s actually nauseating after awhile (not to mention exhausting trying to keep up since it becomes such a pricey fashion show), but there we certainly didn’t have to worry about not looking cute enough for the place. Anyway, we closed the place down & grabbed a cab back… [Note: we asked our cabbie where the locals hung out, and he said all the places that we went to… so sad.]

The next morning we had a late breakfast at a local pancake house (where again, the portions were huge – I only mention this because after this weekend, I gained back 5 lbs!) & each headed off to the beach in our own time. I got there at the prime burning hour… normally I’d be more careful, but I've been to the beach a handful of times this summer so I didn’t want to waste any tanning opportunities (I’ll rue the day one day I know). After several hours of just hanging on the beach & swimming, we made our way back to our hotel rooms & rested before going out again. This time we went to a seafood restaurant in that same mega-complex… observation about menus down there: EVERYTHING is fried. Not kidding. Still, managed to find the one dish that was broiled instead of fried, only to discover that they salt the shit out of everything. Mind you, I like me some salt – so much so that friends have threatened to get me a salt stick for Xmas (not that I’d probably mind) – but the food down there was too salty for even me! Crazy!

Anyhoo, afterwards, we decided to check out some of the gay establishments for the evening. We had asked our cabbie from the night before and he had given us the name of three places (yes, that’s right – only three places) and Sira had taken it upon himself to check them out beforehand so we wouldn’t waste time… out of the three places: the first one was lesbian – or at least that night – & useless for our purposes; the second was a “private club” with a (get this) $2 membership fee & $5 all-you-can-drink-fee – Sira peeked in & surprisingly enough, said it looked kind of scary; the third option was called “Hush” (I think it may have had more than one “S” in its name… like a lisp… original, no?). We went with door #3. This establishment had two large rooms, one with the bar area & large lounge/table area that we all decided had potential but needed a serious makeover & to get rid of the florescent lighting, and the other room was it’s complete opposite with dark lighting, a dance floor and long stage area with an aluminum foil covered backdrop. We were obviously the only tourists in there as everyone there seemed to know each other already (*insert Cheers theme song*) and – no joke – had their own little dance that they all seemed to be practiced in (I forget the song, but it goes something like this “You go left left then right right down the stairs down the stairs…”) Sira informed me that all the music played was dirty south whatever that means… However, the highlight of the evening was their drag show. Yup! We got to see a real drag show in good ol’ uptight Myrtle Beach. [Note: Mind you, this is the city that makes it illegal to wear a thong at the beach – I mean, don’t get me wrong, it probably should be illegal & lord knows, you’d certainly never catch me in one on the beach in a 100 years – but good god people! They’ve got time on their hands!] Anyway, there were several performers and while one stood out, the others were frankly scary. Thank god they haven’t brought their acts to NYC because they’d seriously get ripped apart. Poor girls! Seriously, one in particular looked like she was playing dress up with mama’s clothes, down to the white platform mary-janes & blue eyeshadow. It pained me to watch. On the plus side, one fierce lady did that “Umbrella” song in a fabulous emerald green get-up with this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge green tasseled beach umbrella – she rocked it. Anyway, we stayed there all night because seriously, there wasn’t anywhere else to go. Alas, there were no cute boys there either.

The next morning after having another huge brunch, we each went our separate ways to catch our flights back. Mimi & I drove back to Charlotte where we got caught in this amazing lightning storm – it was pretty scary there for a bit, but pretty amazing to see on such flat spaces. Anyway, caught my flight back to NYC & made it home in one piece despite some rocky going…

Love My Good And Plenty!!

Welcome, Charlie! Charlie lives in Greenpoint Brooklyn. Welcome him! Does anyone want to go meet Charlie at the Pencil Factory? HAHA- Charlie and the Pencil Factory! I kill me!
Obviously there are a lot of fun little jokes with Charlie's name. I call him Charlie Tuna in my head.

Nicole

Charlie Says...

Friday I left work early to get home to pack for a weekend in Boston. My friend was driving so I was excited not to have to spend four hours on a cramped bus. One thing she had forgotten to tell me was that her roommate was coming along as well, whom I have dated years before. Which at this point her and I are like oil and water. So i survive the drive up, just sit in the back seat and stare out the window. Finally we arrive in Boston about 2 hours later than I expected, mostly because of traffic and a very annoying "lets sit and relax at Wendy's" type of dinner, which I didn't eat because it was fast food and all i wanted to do was keep driving. So we get there, my friend drops me off at my other friend's apartment where i'm staying and have previously lived years before. We decide to go out in Cambridge near Harvard and my buddy Todd decides he will drive us. We walk around the corner to the car and Todd decides he doesn't want to drive us anymore and goes back into the house. Whatever we just walk to another bar, have a great time, day is over. The next morning is my friend Nick's birthday. The plan is to go to the beach in Gloucester. Now if you don't know me, I never ever ever go to the beach. In fact you may hear me say that I hate the beach. But I'm on this new kick to experience things again for the first time, so I say what the hell I'll go and it's Nick's birthday. So we're at the beach, it's beautiful, i go in the water, this is probably my first time in the ocean in like 7 years. That's the other thing, i hate swimming, whatever i'll try it again. So i get in the water it's freezing but i get used to it and have a great time swimming. Get out of the water, it's sunny and nice. There is a nice breeze coming off the water so you can lay there and not feel like your skin is on fire from the sun. At this point i'll fill you in on another hate of mine. I can't stand the feeling of the sun on my skin. Like prolonged massive body area exposure. So this coupled with my lack of swimming and visits to beaches also means i haven't had my clothes off under the summer sun in years, many many years. So with my virgin pasty skin and a nice cool breeze i don't realize that i'm cooking from the outside in. We have a great time at the beach and head home. We get home and start to clean up because for Nick's birthday dinner, someone decided to have a "fast food pot luck." So it was determined that everyone would go out to any fast food joint and purchase 10 dollars worth of food and then bring it all together for a big dinner. I withheld from this activity for two reasons. First if i had it would have made me so sick and the food was gross. Which after eating many of my friends felt real bad. Second reason is; my skin was on fire. I got home and was completely red. I let my friends go to the dinner and i make my way there eventually after i get some extra strength tylenol and some spray stuff to soothe my skin. After dinner the plan was to go to a bar and then a party at a old coworker of mine's house. While waiting for everyone to get together to go i completely passed out on the couch. Not so much on the couch but over the arm of the couch with the air conditioner blowing cold air on my back. So i missed out on fun saturday night. Well i guess that was the weekend. It was fun though. I now know that i do like the beach and will probably go back and i now wear sun block from head to toe even if i don't leave the house, just as a precaution.

Monday, August 27, 2007

I Can Never Remember

The first time someone asks me on Monday how my weekend was I draw a total blank, and my initial silence and puzzled look on my face makes whatever I finally remember and describe sound like I actually did nothing all weekend, and am thinking up some lies to tell on the spot to make me seem not a loser. I should rehearse my weekend speech on the train Monday mornings.
Friday night I went to get a little food & drink at Olea which is about a block from my house. SO glad it's so close in proximity to my spot since they have a beer selection that I love (they always have Moretti and Tapetto Volante), and a delicious Mediterranean menu, from which I always order the apps and the small plates, and I ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL order the falafel-crusted artichoke hearts with eggplant salad. I had that, of course, and perfect boqerones, along with one each of the abovementioned beers.
Then I watched a very very depressing documentary called "Children Underground". It is about homeless children in Romania in the aftermath of Ceaucescu's determination to expand the country's workforce by outlawing contraception and creating lots more future workers. There were so many "extra" children born this way, to dysfunctional and broken homes, that thousands of them wound up runaways from orphanages, or directly homeless without having passed thru an orphanage along the way. Two of the street children, who sleep in the subway and huff Aurolac (paint) are siblings and they are ten and eight years old!!! It was very hard to watch these little kids being wild in the streets, hungry and high and dirty, and to see how they organized into gangs with leaders, which actually seemed to provide little or no security as the members were always fighting, beating each other (which is what the parents of many of these kids did that caused them to take to the streets in the first place), stealing from each other, and getting yelled at and beaten by the leader. I didn't really see the benefit of banding together like that. Anyway, if you can stand to see it, the film was a very vivid depiction of ruined lives with small chance of rehabilitation for more than a few reasons. If you feel like you haven't cared about anything in a while, this will make you feel compassion for others not as well off as you are. Perspective, people.
Saturday I took my cat to the oncologist and learned that her chemotherapy treatment is working well! Good for us! Her lumps and enlarged lymph node have reduced to normal and barely palpable sizes. Afterward I took the 24 inch BMX Cruiser out to Prospect Heights to have a tour of the apartment my friend Andy just bought. Nice place, Andy! It was wiltingly hot but we set out to get some lunch and then to pick out paint samples for the apartment at Pintchik. We ate at Burrito Bar on Flatbush and watched the Little League World Series on ESPN. It was funny to see all these 11-14 year old kids. Today's kids all have names like Brock, Tyler, Taylor and Payton, and Andy and I amused ourselves by determining which of these kids were going to grow up to be the biggest jock douches and get all the girls.
What then? Oh, I saw Superbad. This is not a movie review blog so I am not going to get all into it, but this movie gets 5 stars, 4 golden mics, and 3 thumbs up. I had heard very good things but I didn't really believe it, until I saw the show with mine own eyes and loved every character and joke in the movie. It was pretty perfect. Rush right out!
Sunday I went to brunch at 5 Ninth in their small and lovely garden and ate polenta with sunny side up eggs and chorizo. 2 good 2 be 4 gotten! Then I went to a community garden, Lotus Garden, on top of a parking garage on the upper west side and saw 2 koi (really goldfish, I'd say) ponds and some beautiful flowers and a peach tree and sat there for a while chewing gum.
Afterward my dear Sunday companion and I went to some men's stores so he could purchase a new leather manbag, and he got a great looking one at Kenneth Cole and also tried on a smokin hot leather coat there that was a perfect fit and look but wasn't warm enough for his tastes.
Then I went to pick up my friend Meg at the hair salon where she works, Salon V, and her co-workers and I went to Yuca for Sangria and the like. One girl was drinking this nuts hybrid margarita/sangria drink, that when you sipped thru the straw you could taste the two cocktails separately in the glass one after another! One of her co-workers, a rare straight male stylist, had just moved back to NYC after a 7-year stint doing hair in North Caroliney on "Dawson's Creek" and "One Tree Hill," and he of course had some good- ass insider gossip that he was happy to share. IF you send me a weekend report I will pass it on to you. After catching a buzz, I was still not prepared to go sing "Jesse's Girl" backed by a live band at my friend Alanna's karaoke bday party at the Baggot Inn (co-hosted with Noah from the Big Quiz Thing), which I went ahead and did anyway and sang way too high on the advice of some girl in the bathroom who felt that since it was a man's voice originally I'd better start high and work my way down the octaves. (Meg laughed really hard when she heard I had had a karaoke conference in the ladies room.) Error! I heard myself sing terribly so I made up for it with both rock and hip hop stage moves and high energy. I was congratulated afterward so I guess it wasn't totally hateful. Then I peaced out and went home to bed.

Nicole

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Let's Hear About My Weekend Now

Hi, my turn:

Friday I simply cannot remember, not because I was drunk, just because I don't think I did anything really. I know I took the ferry home from my temp job in Jersey City at Lehman Brothers, and after that I come up blank. I know I wanted to watch Intervention, but remembered that my cable has been out since I returned from Buenos Aires on August 1st, which I am not really complaining about because ever since the tv has been off I've seen a bunch of good DVDs, and otherwise have been alternating between reading The Economist and studying Spanish. So it follows that that is probably what I did on Friday night.
Saturday I went to the Delicious Sandwich Social (DSS), with Alanna, M.C., and Adrienne, held in Prospect Park and orchestrated by Jon Friedman. Here's what you do to go to this thing once a year: You make or get a sandwich (after not much thought, I went with Classic baloney and mustard on white, purchased at the Superior Deli), cut it in half, eat your half at your leisure, label your other half, adding your email to the label, and give it to the DSS Committee, and then eventually you pick a sammy half out of the grab-bag and hopefully you like what you picked and you eat it!! Then you're meant to go around and find who made your sammich and who ate your half. This breakdown of events is what I thought was supposed to happen. I wasn't quite right about how I figured it would go down. It is quite an unusual and creative event and I don't know if I or everyone else knew just what to do...I didn't socialize much too much with those I didn't know and I found out who got the half I provided this way: all the sammiches went into big garbage bags (divided by vegetarian and meat, for those of you who ask questions of the sort I ask), and you had gotten a number when you turned in your sandwich half which was now randomly called, and when you go up you stick your mitt into the bag of your choice and then read to the crowd triumphantly what type of sandwich you pulled out and everyone cheers. So utilizing this process, everyone knows who got their sandwich bc you see someone getting it, eliminating half of the social opportunity to go meet people and seek out your foodmate. Then, when I got my sandwich half (hot roast beef and mozz on a hero) I read off the name of and thanked the guy who'd made it, giving him a chance to get props for the good vittles and also to see who it was. I guess I was trying to find a shortcut to knowing the sandwichmaker rather than actually asking everyone in the party, esp. because I didn't see a lot of that happening. Noone replied. The next day, I emailed him (remember how I said you put your email on the wrapper?) to thank him this way and dude never wrote back!!! How very extremely anti-social!! I'm not saying that it wasn't a nice day in the park and that there weren't free cupcakes, which was generous and they were really good, but I am saying that I am going to spearhead the Logistics Committee next summer bc this event needs some tweaking. If anyone on the committee is even remotely interested in my constructive criticism, they can take a meeting with me. Oh, one other good thing was this guy Tony who would now and again get on our blanket during this party and who for some reason said you can get on the L.I.E. and it will take you right to Belize.
After the DSS, I went to this coffee/chocolate/wine bar in Park Slope so Adrienne could get a latte. I rather admired the place, liked the art on the walls and approved the furnishings and the backyard garden. After my little lookaround, I perched in a windowseat with a tiny ledge behind me that held little votive candles. In the middle of discussing media on which to print photographs Adrienne suddenly shouts "Oh my god!" I gaped at her and then I smelled it. One millisecond later I too shouted "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD" when I realized that the acrid smell was my ponytail singeing away in the fucking candle that these crackheads placed right behind a person's back when they sit in this seat. What I didn't like was that I grabbed my hair with my hands which could have been burned if there were actual flames. This was not a Michael Jackson scenario though bc I think the deal with his hair inferno was that he had a lot of products in his hair. I myself am a natural beauty and use virtually none...so my hair did not go up in flames. Evidently hair just singes. A lot. A chunk came off in my hands as I pulled it around the front to see what was happening. What struck me most about this occurence is twofold. One, Adrienne, when requested that, in future occurrences of such fiascos, she say more words like Oh My God Your Hair Is On Fire or Oh My God Your Hair at least, admitted that she was lame for not saying more or snapping into action and yanking my hair from the candle or the candle from my hair. She is basically excused bc she is my friend, and bc she did have a period of self-reflection where she was befuddled by her inability to find her words or kinetics and be more proactive. At least she knew that her stillness was wrong and didn't think it wasn't her job to get involved, as some of my nameless narcissistic friends would think. Two, NONE of the employees in the shop ran over, none came with a bucket, none even ambled over to see if I was okay after the incident seemed to have peaked. I had to walk past them at the far end of the shop on the way to the bathroom to finger-comb all the crispy ends out of my locks, at which point they inquired what had happened and if I was all right. These people should have done something. Their lack of concern really motivated my thinking that if I had burned my hair off or burned my skin, I would have sued the chocolate out of that place, taken ownership of it and turned it into a god damn Candle Emporium.
After, we went to Habana Outpost in Ft. Greene BK which is always cool but I think I am losing interest. It is always so completely full of all of its elements- soul music, young designer's market, the grilled corn with the queso blanco on it, the too gorgeous multi-culti customer base- that it feels superficial, like all the parts were brought together and the people were cast to create a show called "Habana Outpost". There is no real there there and it is really hard to get a seat. Eh, I probably won't go again on the weekend for a while. Saturday night I stayed home, avoiding a bday party in the last dangerous part left in the LES, and I think I watched "The Last Kiss" with Zach Braff. Did any of you see it and what did you think?
Sunday I woke up early and went to sticky-floored Nevada Smith's to watch Chelsea Vs. Liverpool. It was a tie, 1-1. I saw a bunch of my soccer-watching and -playing friends there who genuinely seemed like they actually noticed I was gone for a month and that they had missed me. Lovely. And the chicken pie was the best I have ever had there, literally 100 times better, they must have gotten a new meatpie distributor. What else? Oh we went over to Central Bar after the game and watched some Latin American soccer and I ate cheesy beans on toast and turned my nose up at the black & white pudding. Noone knew what is in the white pudding part but they knew what made the other part black and I wanted no part of it.
After this merriment I cruised on home to join a party at my apt that was thrown by my roommate Sarah for her female college volleyball team that she coaches as her profession. The place was packed with Amazons and enough food to feed a team of Amazons. I ate seven layer dip and made some charming comments about feeling like I was in the waiting room for auditions for America's Next Top Model (many of them were pretty good looking) and after making them all love me I went into my room to play with my cats and go to bed early.
When I got to work Monday I asked the IT guy how his weekend was. He said, "Great- I was in a drunken stupor all weekend!" I countered with, "Oh yeah? My hair went on fire!" and he said "You've got me beat. Trumped!" Alli esta! (There it is!)

Nicole

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Hamburglar

Fruity, I don't mean to laugh bc iI bet that was scary for a long minute, but that self-burglary story is really funny!! Glad it was you who did it to yourself!

Nicole

J. Fruit Says...

The weekend got to a slow start when I had to drag some friends out for one of their bdays. I drank a little much and stumbled home. (Dragging people out is never the way to start a celebration.) It led to a late start getting on the road to Richmond. Got there late but we kept our plans to hit VA Beach. It was a nice beach but there wasn't much by way of restaurants or culture. Southern VA loves it some haunted houses though. Shockoe Bottom was a really cute neighborhood that I enjoyed hanging out in (there was a haunted mansion here too). It's all the more impressive when you learn that it was almost 6 ft deep underwater 3 years ago!!! Saturday night I had dinner at Havana 59. Its stylings were impeccable if the food left a little to be desired. Check it out at night and, if you can look beyond the non-Cubans there, you might think you were actually in Havana. Grab a deck of cards on the table and have a great time like we did playing Spit. The next day we had brunch at Cafe Gutenberg (also in Shockoe Bottom). Then we went down to the James River (which cuts through Richmond). It was pretty cool and decently clean. I would've had a swim if I were prepared. Apparently, we could've gone kayaking on it as well. Instead, I dipped my feet in and stared at the finely chiseled guys taking a hanging out on the rocks. After struggling back home through much traffic (though not nearly as bad as the way down), I arrived at home suspecting I had been burglarized. It took awhile to realize that I was very drunk Friday night and flew out on Saturday morning such that I just didn't notice that I threw my mail, clothes, and a large abandoned sketch pad I picked up on the way home on strewn all over the floor. Um...maybe I should give up my boozing.

Back to Lisa

I liked posting her report because "Lisa Says" is a song by the Velvet Underground. That reminds me, I am now going to go buy some "El Cantante" songs in Itunes. Don't poke fun.

Nicole

EEEEEE!

Everyone say hello to Eli(as) from Buenos Aires! He is an American working there in Commercial Real Estate and he speaks fluent Spanish and is living quite a nice little life down there, with the job and the hobbies and the binlinguality and the good food and the 2-br apt with a sick view. He is young and has already done this big life thing so he commands my respect and admiration. He was a dynamo to hang out with too, especially when, what was it, Nate Dogg? comes on!!

PROPS!!

Nicole

Eli from Buenos Aires Says...

I took Wed-Fri off of work to play host to two very good friends who came to visit. We went to 3 clubs - Mynt, Lost and Kika, 2 bars, and (edited out for the sake of the poster).
We took off later to some estancia/retreat to recuperate and also, take the opportunity to kick out an unwanted house guest (she tried to make me change my shirt!). I ate at just about every restaurant that was in Lonely Planet and some that were not. Had to double dip at the favorites. Very little sleep was involved but I'm as happy as I've ever been.

Welcome, Kind New Poster!!

A large with sugarcone and two toppings welcome to Lisa who totally gets it and has graced the blog with a good weekend report replete with links and descriptive info. Well done! Keep 'em coming!!!
Not a lot of you are into veggie/vegan things but I definitely lean that way a lot of the time so if anyone wants to break on through to the other side and check out Lisa's rec I'd be willing to ambassador them. However I still do not have the foggiest idea what is in vegan ice cream so don't be asking me.

Nicole

Lisa Says...

This weekend my partner and I drove up to Bloodroot (www.bloodroot.com), a vegetarian/vegan feminist restaurant. There are no waitresses and no cash-registers, but an abundance of yummy veggie and vegan food, the best chocolate ice cream i've ever had (vegan to boot!), and some amazing bread with cruelty-free butter. The women who run the place are friendly and warm, the bookstore is interesting, Andrea and Catharine, the resident kitties, are affectionate and fun, and you can't beat the atmosphere, especially outside on the patio. We spent about 3 hours here and came home with 2 large cookbooks full of their recipes. It was fabulous, and was worth killing my clutch (it was on its way out, anyway) to go up there.

And in case anyone is wondering, my partner was not the only male there. Its a comfortable environment for all. Bloodroot has been around for over 30 years.

J. Fruit Said A Short Time Ago...

Last weekend was another trip up to the NYC for me (in hopes of moving back for good). I started out meeting up with Vanilla-Bean down in the SOHO and heading to the Boiler Room in the East Village. It was not what it used to be (a good thing) because now it has actual lighting (vs. the black light it used to have). There was a little birthday celebration going on. I met a few people who were all coupled off. 3 actual couples and another half couple (whose other half was touring as Hercules on a cruise ship). Although some of them were "open," the couples experience got boring quick so we headed over to a rooftop gathering in Chelsea hosted by yet another gay couple. The view was awesome even if I left feeling like I needed some Mini Storage. Nothing momentous happened there so we went on to Barracuda. Many people came up to one of our entourage because his other half was out of town and apparently they were checking in on him. That sent me home of course stopping off for some pizza because I was alone. The next day I went to an engagement party. I had previously asked the bride-to-be to set me up w/some of her co-worker friends and thought it was a great time to check in on her progress. She told me that the only gays from work who were coming were a couple. Wah-wah. Well the moral of this weekend is that I do not have the latest in gay accessories--a bf. It makes me think of a time when I was taken but strangely many of my friends were not, including Cinnamon. We were talking about relationships, walked by Tompkins Square Park, and saw these middle-aged homeless men making out by the closed entrance. I turned to Cinnamon and said, "Damn! Even THEY found each other..."