This was an extended weekend as I took Friday off. Sadly this was so I could put my cat Sibil down. She has had cancer and it spread to her lungs, which were filling up with fluid. I think I toed a line, where she went out without suffering much. The staff at the vet showed great sensitivity. I looked into her eyes and comforted her as the sedative put her to sleep. Her last sight was of me looking into her eyes. She was normally frightened at the vet, fighting to get back inside the carrier, but before she went under I made sure to get close to her and make her feel safe. I will never forget being her last sight and easing her passing. That was morning. I spent the day with my other cat Quijybo, who seemed to notice nothing except that he had me to himself again after 5 years. Friday night I spent with my cousin watching astonishing news of Libya and Japan.
Saturday morning the frame shop called. The picture I bought in Valparaiso, Chile was ready, looking fantastic in a Maple frame. Hanging it and doing some odds and ends about the house helped me cope with the loss of little Sibil, but every time I walked into my bedroom my instinct to visit her in her usual spot to caress her, brought tears. A hollow has opened up that will not soon close.
Sunday a few friends came by who are both talented theater techs. We game together (yes I will be 40 in September and I play D&D) and we are designing a combination kitchen dining and gaming table, which one of them has the tools (and need I add mad skilz too) to build.
The design plan is already elaborate. It’s good to have talented friends. Now technical drawings begin.
To be honest a lot of my weekend seems to have passed me by. Grief is a strange state. Time passes and you become exhausted from the existential labor though you have physically done little.
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