Kinkle (In Paris This Weekend) Says...

So last weekend we were in gay Paree... which is not as gay when you have a 2 year old believe me! After a really crazy episode in the Catacombs the day before (when I learned that my child's shrieks do NOT in fact raise the dead, contrary to popular opinion) we decided to take it easy and shop a bit. July is famous for the sales in Paris, but honestly there was waaay too much clothing that looked like it was designed by the French Ellen Tracy. The hubby tried on some really cool white leather pointy boots with red elastic insets, but felt guilty about spending the dough so he didn't. I have no such qualms, however, and I finally found a cool top by some French designer I've never heard of on sale at La Bon Marche (the more or less Saks Fifth Ave of Paris), so my quota of French fashion, though small, was somewhat quenched. We went to the Eiffel Tower and briefly considered eating at Jules Verne the restaurant there but apparently you have to have reservations a month in advance and it was 150 Euros PER PERSON not including wine. So, obviously that didn't happen. Also, pretty much anytime you get the kid near a monument it's a cue for him to have the terrible two meltdown which kicked in about a week or two ago. In the future, if any reader of this blog thinks they can travel around and sightsee with a two year old just remember my advice. NO, YOU CAN'T. Climbing the 8 million stairs in the tower was pretty much out of the question so we returned to the neighborhood we were staying in, Montparnasse and had a lovely meal at a restaurant that turned out to be a chain but was still good for Frenchy food. The kid even got a giant high chair carved to look like a throne.. how appropo! The next day we went to some flea market I had read about in Time Out's guide to Paris. I should know better, because I certainly take everything they say in NYC with a grain of salt but this purportedly "Mother of All Paris Flea Markets" or so it was touted was actually a piece of crap selling bad rip off hip hop clothes and a few junky ethnic trinkets. It was at the tail end of Monmarte, though which is an awesome charming neighborhood that hosted lots of artists in its day (like Montparnasse) and we made a quick visit to Sacre Coure where I picked up a bronze cross to add to my cross collection. (I'm not really religious per se but I am oddly drawn to religious artifacts, especially catholic ones. I was probably Catholic in another life). We picknicked on the steps and afterwards walked around, conveniently timing a visit to the Dali museum there around naptime for the kid. Then we took a quick stroll through Pigalle (where the Moulin Rouge is and they have lots of sex shops) before the gourmand hubby drove me absolutely nuts walking UP and DOWN the hills looking for the absolutely perfect restaurant which of course we would need a reservation for. We finally ate at a totally servicable bar/restaurant before heading home. Sunday we had plans to go to Versailles, which I have been dreaming about for decades. The time right before the French Revolution is my absolute fave for decor, clothing and well, everything except smallpox and personal hygiene. Provided I could be a member of the upper classes I would go back to that time (at least for a week) in a heartbeat. Well the line was long and the tantrums were in full effect, so much so the hubby left me somewhere before the king's apartments so I could at least see the place in peace. Did i mention he's a gem? He caught up with me again with a subdued child in the Hall of Mirrors and we managed to take a more peaceful tour of the last part of the museum. I was dying to see the gardens but, like the rest of our European soujourn, it started pissing down rain and we had to leave. We grabbed some fries for the kid at the local McDonald's (where yes, they DO sell a Royal with cheese) before taking the train back and eating at another bistro (beef for him, escargot and French onion soup pour moi) before taking our tired, wet bones home. Ah Paree... I want to return again and again!